Theme of Love

Sailor Star Dust Summer 2007/Fall 2008/Fall 2009

Rating: Hentai

Disclaimer: Evangelion doesn’t belong to me, but to the one and only Studios GAINAX, KHARA, and Anno Hideaki-sensei. Likewise, the song Bright Side of Life belongs to Monty Python and is only briefly mentioned for humor, no infringement is intended.

AN: This is a sequel to my Post 3I fanfic Anxiety-Ridden Honeymoon ~Mellow Version~, that takes place right where it left off. The title of this piece once again comes from an unused BGM on the S^2 Works Box, track 22 on disc 7, M-15 theme of love.(It's incomplete as the final version would have had a piano and female chorus.) CULTURAL NOTE: In EoE, when Asuka says to Shinji that she knows that he "used her as jerk-off material", the term she used for "Jerk-off Material", Okazu can mean either a side dish to go along with rice, or a masturbatory aid in terms of thoughts or what somebody looks at. ^_^ In hentai anime, it refers to gratuitous lesbian sex prior to straight sex, according to a friend.

Dedication: In loving memory of Dale Carson/94Saturn, who passed away on July 29th2009.

Red. That was all Asuka saw. She blinked, puzzled. Where was she? She was surrounded in LCL, laying on the bottom of what looked like a giant blue-green coral reef. LCL...that orange-colored liquid inside the Entry Plug, that lingering scent of blood...? But, how was that possible?

Suddenly, Asuka remembered everything that had happened—being defeated by the Eva Series, how she and Shinji acted throughout that….whatever it was, and missing her mother—Asuka shivered.

The LCL Sea... Curling up into a fetal position, she wrapped her arms around her naked body. That's right. Shinji...rejected Instrumentality, didn't he? Since he realized that it's a step backwards, that means whoever wants to return can. So why am I here? I want to live on...I don't want to stay here; it’s nearly the same as death!
Tears actually formed in her clenched blues eyes as she whimpered, "No. I don't want to die. I don't want to disappear. I, I want to live... I WANT TO LIVE!"

"You're alive...You mustn’t die...Live on..."

"Ma...ma...?" Asuka's tear-filled eyes widened at the voice; her heart nearly froze. She looked around, puzzled. "Mama?! Where are you?"

Appearing before her was none other than Kyoko, a loving smile on her face. Behind her were two other people: one was Ayanami Rei, the 2nd Angel Lillith. The other person: Nagisa Kaworu—the 1st and 17th—Angel.

Kyoko gently embraced her daughter within her arms. "Asuka...I'm sorry. Thank goodness you're safe." Remembering her final battle and how her mother partly controlled Eva, Asuka shuddered.

/"Stay alive. You shouldn't die. Stay alive. You shouldn't die. I won't let you die. You shouldn't die. I won't let you die. You shouldn't die. I won't let you die. Please, die with me. You shouldn't die. Stay alive. Please, die with me!! Don't kill her! Stay alive." "...I don't want to die...I don't want to die...I DON'T WANT TO DIE!" /

Was her mother trying to kill her, after all? Or did she want to protect Asuka?

"Asuka-chan. I'm sorry. I tried to protect you, but..." She sadly closed her eyes. "I knew. That we'd probably…die…together..."

/"Please, die with me!!"/

Asuka stared at her mother in silence. After a moment, she replied, "...Mama. Your wish came true, after all?"

Kyoko said nothing, but because of that, Asuka could tell that's what her mother subconsciously wanted. Asuka clenched her fists, her nude body trembling slightly.

"But that's...not my wish!", she screamed.

Asuka’s eyes were serious. “I'm thankful that you now have it together again. During that…thing, I wasn't depressed about our final battle together; just the past."

Kyoko looked away, lost in thought as she spoke. "I'm sorry, Asuka. I'm so sorry about what you had to go through as a child. I know protecting you in any of our battles didn't make up for it...But I hope it’s a start."

Happy tears coming to her eyes, Asuka replied, "Mama. I finally, finally, have you. I finally have a loving mother like him...So I want to stay with you! But being here really is nearly the same as death... It's good that people can return if they want, but even though this isn't the thing anymore, it's still just not right!"

Kyoko's stubbornness shown through at what Asuka said: Like mother, like daughter. "Why would you say such a thing to begin with?! That's foolish to even THINK about wanting to stay here! Asuka, you have somebody who cares about you...Be with him!"

"But...I, I don't have the strength to see him. He probably feels the same way about me...I could tell, he enjoyed hurting me when he snapped. I don't want to be rejected again. Not anymore, not again. If all he does is hurt me...If its all in his head that people hate him...If he can't even love himself first...Then why? Why should I be at his side? I can barely do any of that for myself!"

Rei, or rather Lilith, finally spoke, having enough being a quiet observer. "Asuka. You just need to ask Ikari-kun that. And he's still alive so he CAN learn to love himself and others...."

Eyes watering, Asuka replied: "He...Shinji was... I tried to get him to notice me and comfort me, but he did nothing. He save me from that Volcano, but didn't help me since then. He was my first kiss, but he didn't even hold me. I, can't be with somebody like that. I can't be needed or need a person who's self-centered just like me. Somebody who wants people to pay attention to them by being kind, just like me." She turned pale after finishing her sentence.

/"Enough already! It drives me crazy when I look at you!" "...Because I'm like you?"/ /"Why are you there?! You won't do anything! You won't help me! You won't even hold me!"/ /"Asuka doesn't tell me anything. You don't tell me anything, you don't say anything. It's impossible to understand you!"/

“How can I be in love with somebody as stupid as Shinji? He's pathetic, a coward, a wimp...Although he's also kind, brave in battle, smart, gentle...Most of the time..."

Asuka shook her head. "No. What I am saying?! I can't return JUST for that idiot's sake! I don't want that anyway. I...I want to return so I can become happy with my OWN life.... So I can see what else is out there for me besides Eva. I know that can't just be my only purpose in life. And it's not. Not anymore. I...I'm not sure just what I want...but I know I do want to live on because life can be good. And maybe...at one point...we could try to find some happiness together..."

Letting out a long, drawn-out sigh, Asuka closed her blue eyes, becoming lost in thought. Inhaling, she looked up, eyes serious. "I...I want to see everybody again. My feelings are real, too. I know it." She smirked. "Luckily for Baka-Shinji I feel the same way." At those words, Asuka was dressed in her plugsuit, bandages covering her left eye and right arm.

"Despite fainting before being speared, you're bandaged because that's how you imagined yourself within your heart." Smiling, Rei gently added, "But don't worry, time has healed all of your wounds, physical and emotional. You are okay now, Asuka."

Asuka was stunned at Rei's kindness. "...Rei." Turning slightly, Asuka suddenly noticed Adam and instantly frowned. What's that Homo-boy doing here? I just…I just don't like the thought of anybody besides me doing...Things...to MY Shinji!

"..............."

Kaworu smiled despite the silence. "Ah, that's right. You don't know who I am, do you, pilot of Eva-02. I'm Adam, Mother of the Angels."

Asuka scowled in response. "I know who Adam is! But what do you mean, "mother"? Adam may be female, but you look like a boy!" Kaworu smirked a little, amused. "Don't you Lilin know that chests can be deceiving?"

Asuka rolled her eyes. "Oh, whatever! Anyway, you're also the 17th Angel and 5th Children, correct?" "Yes. Feel free to call me Kaworu. Or Tabris or Adam. Whatever you're comfortable with, really."

This guy—or rather, girl's—calm nature was really beginning to piss Asuka off. Glaring, the redhead responded, barely keeping the control in her angry voice. "Adam. You're the reason Second Impact..."

Suddenly remembering something, she stopped mid-sentence. "No. That's right. Misato told Shinji before Third Impact occurred, that it was humankind's doing to prevent a greater tragedy. And that...humans and Angels are the same species… “

Rei stared deeply into the German girl's eyes. "We—Adam and I—mean you no harm, Asuka. We want to help humanity love and understand each other."

"But why did Third Impact have to occur either way?!"

"It was unavoidable, Asuka-san. That's why Shinji-kun's mother, Lilith, and I made sure it went according to our scenario. Not that of Seele or Shinji-kun's father. With Shinji-kun, the three of us wanted him to see living is the right choice, not Instrumentality. All of you need the future, after all."

"...Kaworu. Answer me just one question. What do you think of Shinji?"

Kaworu smirked. "Ah, seeing his memories of us spending time together worried you, did it not? Rest assured, I only care for him as a friend. Besides, I was able to look into his heart and see somebody was already there."

Asuka was silent as Kaworu continued. "It was you. By the time I arrived, his thoughts seemed to turn to of wanting your help and reliance. I couldn't see how he felt for you before things started getting difficult. However, I think he still loved you."

/"Help me. Help me, Asuka."/

/"I want to help you somehow. I want to be with you forever."/

"I could tell how lonely he was, so I tried to give him some kindness, what he always desired. Shinji-kun himself is a kind person, after all."

Asuka didn't reply. She was lost in thought about how Shinji had snapped when their minds were linked before Third Impact began. How because of her lies about her feelings for him, and because he didn't get what he wanted, he simply lost control and strangled her... Finally speaking, Asuka wearily said: "At least he tries to be kind, until he's pushed..."

Rei gave Asuka a reassuring smile, "Ikari-kun didn't mean that in his heart and it wasn't just your fault, Asuka. He was feeling bitter and betrayed, and didn't stop to think that people didn't feel the same way as him. He also didn’t realize that nobody hates him; Ikari-kun was displacing, misunderstanding his feelings of self-hatred."

Asuka nodded in reply. "I didn't mean to be cold to him either, but I felt bitter too! Both of us were simply pushed to such a limit because of everything that had happened that we simply lost it! That's why I..."

Kyoko smiled warmly. "Asuka, by seeing him again, you can make things right this time. Think of it as a second chance."

Asuka’s mood drooped further. She wanted to become more like the good person she was deep-down, but it was so hard... "But it will take time. Though I want to start being kind to him...Our problems won't go away on their own. They'll take time to get through..."

Kaworu seriously, yet gently replied, "Isn't time all you have right now? You love Shinji-kun, right? Stay by his side and help him realize that he is not alone. Especially if he truly believes in himself and others."

Rei added, "And we'll always be watching over him and everyone else. Because we believe that it's just as Yui said.”

/”If you decide to live, anywhere can be heaven, because you're alive. There will be chances to be happy everywhere.”/

Taken aback, Asuka could only stare in surprise at how wise those words were; a genuine smile tugging at the corner of her lips.

Kaworu smiled. "Soryu Asuka Langley. Be sure to take care of Shinji-kun for me."

Asuka's blue eyes locked deeply with Kaworu's red ones. "You can count on it.”

***

Feeling saddened due to leaving Kyoko, Asuka turned to her mother in the blue-green water. "Mama...what will you do now?" "I don't know. But like Yui-san will always watch over Shinji, I'll always watch over you."

"Yui...san? You knew Shinji's mother even before Eva?!"

"Of course. We both worked for Gehirn, you know. If only my pride hadn't gotten in the way of that contact experiment..." Kyoko shook her head at that. Asuka frowned, somewhat disturbed that the both of them were so full of pride. Trying to feel hopeful, Asuka managed a loving smile. "Mama...Goodbye." Giving her daughter one final hug, Kyoko sweetly said, "Please become happy."

Rei gently took Asuka's hand at the exchange of farewells. "Asuka, are you ready?"

"Yeah, I am. I want to live on as myself, I don’t want to stay here anymore. And, I...I want to be with Shinji." A pause. “Re—Lilith?” Asuka smiled at the blue haired girl. "Thank you. For everything."

Rei blushed slightly, touched by Asuka's words. She smiled warmly in reply. "You're welcome...Asuka. Please look after Ikari-kun for me."

As Asuka felt herself floating upwards to the Sea's surface, she suddenly asked, "But Rei...what about you?"

"It is my duty to remain here along with Adam to lead people back to reality. Humanity is my child. I must make sure they learned something so they can take the right path. Such as being able to understand each other, like you and Ikari-kun will." Asuka felt her face turn red from the Angel’s words. But before she could reply, she was suddenly floating above the surface of the LCL Sea.

***

Gasping for breath from the sudden shock of oxygen going into her lungs, Asuka blinked. Her eyes adjusted to the dark surroundings. The starry night sky and the full moon were overhead, a ring of LCL streaked across the sky. Asuka noticed something in the nearby distance of the shore. Squinting, she could barely make out a short boy lying down, objects sticking out of the sand several feet away by him.

Far beyond, in the distance was what looked to be half a head—petrified—staring at her from its one good eye. It looked…the head looked just like…Rei. Asuka couldn’t help but shiver. In various places were the petrified remains of a body, as well as the Mass Production Eva Series, crucified by their own spears.

As Asuka drifted closer to shore, it finally dawned on her just what those objects sticking out of the sand were: Grave Markers. Shuddering, Asuka realized coming to terms with herself in the LCL Sea must've taken far longer than she thought; despite the passage of time feeling like several minutes. Her heart was wavering on whether to stay with her mother or return to Shinji…

Asuka lethargically looked around upon reaching shore, her right eye focusing on the grave markers. Cautiously walking up to the rotten pieces of wood, she nearly froze at the one for Misato. The woman's cross was hanging from a rusted nail. Remembering how Shinji had their guardian's cross in Instrumentality, Asuka's eyes grew sad. Shinji MUST have lost hope to think Misato of all people wouldn't return, especially after being told people could if they imagined themselves in their hearts...

The girl's thoughts were suddenly broken, however, upon noticing something. Her barely legible name, written in a mix of Kanji and Katakana, scratched into one of the pieces of wood. The grave marker intended for her was lined up near Misato's. Blue eyes suddenly hardened at that, anger and disgust overtaking her.

Trembling, she angrily whispered, "How dare you think I'm not strong enough to live on...I'll never let you kill me." With a fierce kick, the grave marker—nearly split in half—fell down. Asuka spun her heels and turned around, making her way to where he was laying down. The redhead was seething on the inside, but upon noticing him, her heart nearly stopped.

***

Shinji was blankly staring up at the starry night sky, body still. A disturbed expression was on his usually calm face, his eyes wide with what seemed to be fear. He was strangely silent, his chest barely moving in time with his very quiet breathing. The brown haired boy looked physically healthy, even if he scarcely blinked his blue eyes.

Biting her lip, Asuka wondered just how long it took for him to lose hope... How long it took for him to go insane from isolation... Shuddering, Asuka didn't know what was more frightening: the fact he still hadn't noticed her despite standing not even a foot away, or the fact he could be crazy. Realizing that she was at a complete loss with what to do, Asuka wearily lay beside the short boy.

Her emotional, physical, and mental lethargy at returning having caught up with her, the bandaged but healed redhead decided to rest for the time being. She barely moved, save for her soft breathing. Blue eyes focused on the starry night sky above.

How pretty...The sky really does look nice with no artificial lights around...And I noticed some flora, so maybe some fauna is back too… I guess this means people really are the last to return...Because they have to consciously think about the choice, while other life doesn't, they simply live whether or not we're here.

A sigh escaped her lips. People...really are stupid aren't they? I know everybody has their own issues to deal with, but if Shinji of all people is able to live on, as well as myself, then...

She inhaled and exhaled slowly, trying to calm down. Things WILL be alright. Baka is the easily depressed type, it's no wonder he gave up hope...

A sudden noise—"Plunk!"—interrupted Asuka's train of thought. After a moment of him looking at something beyond Asuka's breasts, Shinji sat upright. Asuka noticed out of the corner of her eye that he was staring at her expressionlessly. Suddenly, he was straddling her, his hands tightly clenched around her neck. Her blue eyes widened in complete shock, yet she didn't resist despite the pain.

Now he was trying to kill her in reality? But she didn't want to die, not now! Not anymore... Her fear of death about to consume her, she suddenly remembered his words.

/"Then, be kind to me..."/

Asuka slowly, silently, raised her bandaged hand, tenderly caressing his cheek.

Shinji was shocked at the affectionate gesture. He felt so angry at her for leaving him all alone, so angry that nobody else had returned. The boy had begun to go insane from such isolation... Yet upon receiving that affectionate gesture from Asuka—similar to his mother's farewell—he couldn't help but break down.

His hands growing weak, Shinji began crying, a few of his tears landing on her cheek. Asuka's right eye widened as the wetness made contact with her skin. She "remembered" his pitiful crying for help inside her sickroom, before he had masturbated. The girl gently brought her hand back down. Shinji began sobbing against her chest, overwhelmed at Asuka's uncharacteristic behavior.

His crying, no, sobbing like a little boy. His acting pathetic, just like how he acted in that…thing. Begging for help by cowardly running away to her instead of taking care of himself first. Losing control and strangling her. She hated him when he acted so weak, hated herself for loving him despite that, and hated just how alike they really were. After everything that transpired between them, she just couldn't take it anymore. Her eye moving downward to focus on the boy, she stared at him coldly, contemptuously. After a moment, Asuka finally spoke in the coldest voice possible.

"...I feel sick."

***

"Ha!!" Asuka's blue eyes flew open as she gasped, surprised that she was silently crying.

To think all that had just occurred last night...Why did I forget seeing Mama, Rei and Kaworu before returning? At least I remembered now, but... Last night....So much happened between Shinji and I. So much. Why I am alive? After trying to off myself? And finding Mama? Why did it take me so long to return? Why...do I still love him despite everything that happened between us? ...Because of it or in spite of it?

"...You tried to kill yourself, too?"

Asuka nearly jumped, realizing she said her thoughts aloud. Turning around, Asuka noticed Shinji was awake, sleepily staring at her. "Shinji! Why'd you wake up so suddenly?" "The cicadas woke me up.", he yawned.

Asuka suddenly felt a warm hand take her wrist. The boy gently lifted her hands, tenderly kissing her wrists. Her scars had been long healed. "...Please forgive me. If I didn't tell you about Kaji-san, then—"

She abruptly replied, "Don't apologize. You did the right thing by letting me know. And there were a lot of reasons besides his death, one being I thought I was a failure.” In a soft voice, she added, “Thinking that nobody would look at me anymore.”

"I um...tried drowning myself. Before I...", he paused, ill with remembrance. Though Asuka obviously didn't care what Shinji ended up doing, he couldn't help but still feel disgusted at himself. "Before I visited you in the hospital."

Asuka sighed, shaking her head in remembrance, still feeling disgust at everything that had occurred. "You were at the end of your rope then. But, so was I. That's why I thought you were being selfish. Because you were relying too much on me AND you didn't help me when I needed it."

Shinji quietly nodded in agreement that he understood her, not being able to find the words he wanted to say. Both teenagers fidgeted uncomfortably at the topic being discussed.

At length, Shinji nervously requested, "Hey, can we talk about something else? Whatever happened to how happy we were just a few hours ago and last night?"

"If you want to talk about something else, that's fine. I do too. And obviously we want to live on, right, Shinji? I guess we just have to keep in mind that's why we're still here."

"Yeah. I think so, too. I just..." He sighed out of frustration, looking like he was about to cry. "If we're both going to stay here, then I just want us to finally be happy. Last night was just like a dream, but it was even better than that because it was real. I don't want it to end..."

Lying down, the couple hugged each other, their heads resting on the other's shoulder. An awkward silence fell between them.

The late morning sun shone down on their bed, warming the couple's casually-clothed bodies. Not thinking about anything in particular, Asuka found herself staring at the carpeted floor. The towels from their recent bath were crumpled at the foot of the bed.

Shinji let out a sad little sigh, still feeling emotionally drained at the fact she was back. After five minutes of silent hugging, Asuka quietly spoke. "You know...I kicked down my grave marker."

"I thought you did. I guess I was in such shock at your returning last night, I couldn't really remember what happened when." His blue eyes slowly meeting hers, Shinji continued. "....Hey, Asuka. You really were happy at my choice?"

"You let the rest of us live on, and... Misato and I also realized we could learn to love ourselves, so of course I was happy! You were able to find yourself, too. Why else would I congratulate you?" Teasing, she added, "Didn't you say so yourself that your feelings were real?"

He blushed at the truth behind that, silent. A sudden smile made its way across his face as he nodded... His feelings were real... His feelings are real... Happiness at remembering how beautiful last night was for them both... "...Yeah. They are."

***

Still lazily sitting on top of their cozy warm bed together, Shinji kissed Asuka’s temple. The girl giggled a little, his warm lips tickled her skin. But it felt nice… "How are your injuries? Asuka?"

"...You helped me put those bandages on after our bath, remember? Honestly, Shinji! You need to stop worrying about every little thing!"

He smiled at her, replying, "But I care about you...I want to make sure you're okay." She blinked, turning bright red as he looked puzzled at her sudden embarrassment. The unusually flustered redhead quickly changed the topic.

"A—anyway, the reason I'm bandaged is due to how my final battle turned out. As soon as that spear hit my arm, I fainted from the shock. So with what happened afterward that killed me, I wasn't aware of it. Because the last thing I remember was being in pain, that's why I imagined myself bandaged. It was as a security blanket of sorts."

"Oh..." Shinji could only blink at Asuka’s sudden rambling as he tried to keep up with her words.

"That's something Rei was saying. Apparently, I had healed upon deciding to return."

Confused, Shinji replied, "Then, why did it look like you were injured last night and this morning if you weren't?"

She shrugged, removing her bandages from her arm and eye to reveal her healthy, healed, body. "I have no idea, but my guess is our minds were playing tricks on us because of how much stress we were under. Having only just remembered what happened last night—from my perspective, of course—could have had something to do with it, too."

"Hmm, that's true. At least...we're both okay. We’re both alive."

“Mmh.”, the redhead murmured in agreement. "Anyway, apparently my mama did try to protect me instead of wanting us to die together, after all. That fact reassures me somewhat. But, to think we died in such a painful way..."

Shinji turned pale at her words, remembering all too well the feeling of losing her...

/"...Asuka." Eyes widening at the MP Eva Series carrying the mangled remains of Unit 02, Shinji let out a blood-curdling scream. "UWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"/

Horrified at the way she died and that he wasn't able to save her... Not knowing that Yui was having things go according to her plan, not Seele's nor her husband's, and that people would be able to live on once her son saw the value in living... Thanks to herself, Lilith and Adam...

Asuka suddenly let out a long, tired, sigh, voice dripping with sarcasm. "Wow. With everything that's happened, I must look REAL attractive right now, huh?"

Shinji frowned. He suddenly felt sad and didn't know what to say. Curious, she raised an eyebrow. "What? You aren't going to say that you still think I'm pretty, regardless?"

He shrugged, "I already said that, so no point in repeating myself again."

The concern in Asuka's voice was evident. "...Shinji, are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I’m just tired. Still comprehending the fact you're with me, and tired." Asuka flirted in reply, reaching out to stroke his penis still inside his briefs, "If you'd like, I can wake you up..."

His face flushed, nervously spouting out, "Wouldn’t that make me sleepy? But um, some—sometime later, then?"

"Sure!" She suddenly added, "...Shinji. What did you think when you found out my feelings for you, thanks to Instrumentality? From that memory of the 15th Angel's attack?"

/"What are you doing there?! You won't do anything! You won't help me! You won't even hold me!"/

"Eh...?” Shinji needed to think about how to choose his words, he wasn’t sure just what to say at first. “I was surprised, but...happy...to find out we both cared for each other...I was really surprised, finding out you just wanted me to hold you when we first kissed... That's why I said I couldn't understand you: You never DID talk to me about what you were feeling or thinking, so how could you expect me to figure that out?"

"I know, but it didn't help that you were socially awkward and you never let me know what YOU were feeling, either." Asuka shook her head at remembering. "You were right. We never DID bother understanding each other..."

/"Asuka doesn't tell me anything. You don't tell me anything, but you expect me to understand you. That's impossible!"/

Still not used to the sudden turn of events—Asuka being with him—Shinji hesitantly replied: "But...we are now. ...Right?" Asuka smiled, pleased at his words, and squeezed his hand reassuringly. "Yeah."

***

Standing up with a stretch, Asuka looked at Shinji as an eye closed. "Shinji, should we go somewhere today? Why don't we have a little picnic somewhere?"

"Actually, I found a really nice place awhile back. It's a hot springs. Would you want to go check it out?"

Asuka grinned, happy. "Hot springs, huh? That's perfect for winter even if it isn't that cold around here." Shinji nodded in agreement. "Yup. At least this nearby town is mostly in tact, even if Hakone is gone."

"That's true." She playfully added, "Anyway, we both need to stop acting all depressed. Come on! Make yourself useful and get some lunch going. I'm hungry."

Pecking her cheek with a kiss, Shinji headed for the kitchen. He dramatically said, "Never underestimate the ability of the human animal to adapt to its environment!"
The redhead blinked in reply, looking puzzled. "Uh, come again?"

"Drunken Misato-san-ism. I guess that means I was living with her for far too long."

Asuka stretched her arms behind her back, letting out a yawn. "Ah. I was going to say, you don't normally—Yawn—talk like that." Taking off the long t-shirt she used as a nightgown after their bath, the girl pulled up a pair of jeans over her panties, getting dressed.

The boy called from the kitchen, "So, you do want to go to the hot springs?" She smiled, buttoning her light red blouse over her bra. "Of course, we might as well as do something together. Anyway, you technically know this area better than me, right?"

He smiled uneasily. "I, uh, guess so. Though it IS winter and all...Maybe we should just stay home..."

Sitting at the table as she helped herself to the eggs he made, she glared at him. "What kind of stupid things are you saying?! We're all alone for awhile, right? So let's enjoy it!" The boy nodded, having no other choice but to admit defeat.

As Asuka helped herself to another serving of hot bacon and eggs before she was even done with her first plate, Shinji blinked. "Um...You're able to eat all that?"

Clenching her fists angrily, Asuka let Shinji have it. "Of course I'm able to eat all this! Anta baka?! I'm really hungry! After all, we did skip breakfa—"

Eyes wide, Asuka stopped mid-sentence as both started blushing, remembering the reason why they didn't eat sooner. Coughing politely, Shinji offered her an uneasy smile. "Nothing wrong with being preoccupied, I guess..."

His hand gently rested atop hers, caressing it. "...Asuka." She smiled shyly in reply. "Shinji..." She leaned in as if to kiss him... Asuka... He closed his eyes in anticipation, his heart pounding.

Instead, Asuka's hand was pressed hard against his face, predominantly his nose. "Wh—what?!"

Glaring, Asuka flatly replied, "Don't be such a pervert. Let me eat my breakfast in peace already!"

He frowned, somewhat disappointed as he stared eating. I don't get it. I feel happy, but...I'm not happy. I guess I'm just worried about everything...At least Asuka's here. I really feel like things will be alright since we're now together. His eyes watered, but he blinked it back, not wanting to look pathetic in front of her.

Soft lips pressed against Shinji's as his eyes widened. Breaking away, the girl grinned as she spoke. "I know it’s hard for a huge Baka like you, but remain strong. You have been getting better; you seem a lot more optimistic since yesterday, so keep that in mind. Okay?"

"Okay, I will." He suddenly hugged her, feeling grateful. /"We'll be alright. Even if there's nothing else left, at least we have each other."/

"Thank you, Asuka." She smiled sweetly, kissing his cheek. "Of course."

***

Soon enough, the couple reached the hot springs, Asuka's eyes widened as she broke into a wide smile. "Wow! This IS impressive!"

The naturally formed open air hot springs wasn’t too far away from the apartment complex. Boulders created long ago weaved around the hot pool. Plants and grass stuck out between the rocks. The water of the hot springs was naturally heated, and luckily for the pair, the water was hot but not scalding.

Asuka turned to her boyfriend, happily saying, "Hey, Shinji, do you want to try it out?" "Eh...? Su—sure..."

She suddenly glared at him, "Just don't peek while we're in there together or I'll kill you!" Shinji couldn’t help but feel confused at Asuka’s sudden attitude change. "But... We already saw each other naked... Why get embarrassed now?"

The German girl rolled her eyes in defense. "I'm NOT embarrassed; I just don't want you acting like a pervert!" He seriously replied, "...I'd never do that to you if you wouldn't want it."

Asuka blushed furiously at the boy’s words, muttering: "You're just too damn nice..." Shinji scratched his head in response, somewhat puzzled.

***

Once inside the hot springs, the two sighed happily. The bright afternoon sun shone down into the pool, making their bodies comfortably warm.

Shinji grinned, in complete relaxation. "Ahhh... Now that hits the spot. Our bath together was nice, but this feels even better, right, Asuka?"

Giggling, she tossed her long red hair over her head. The girl's hair was down, having removed her Interface Headset before entering the hot, refreshing, water. "I don't know, Shinji... What you did for me earlier this morning by touching me there felt really good."

He smiled sweetly at her, his entire body pleasantly warm from happiness. Feeling happy because she was happy... And because he managed to hang in there, despite everything... As Shinji turned around momentarily, looking for his towel to wipe his damp face, Asuka hugged him from behind. She gently kissed his cheek and shoulder. "Huh? What is it, Asuka?"

Asuka shrugged. "Nothing really. I just wanted to hug you." Shinji blushed at her response.

She kissed his cheek again, causing him to blush deeper. Smiling, the boy suddenly giggled at the thought of something.

"I'm just remembering the time when we all went to the hot springs after defeating that one Angel. I um had a case of thermal expansion since I overheard you and Misato-san playing around. Although I was extremely embarrassed then, looking back on it now, it was pretty funny."

She grinned evilly. "Y'know, I overheard you saying that to yourself. I think that just goes to show talking to yourself is not good."

Shinji grew somewhat nervous at Asuka’s mischievous expression. "Then... Why didn't you get really mad at me later or hit me or..."

"Giggle... Well, let's just say I used you as a side dish that night."

Some blood trickled from Shinji's nose at Asuka's choice of words as he whirled around to face her. "Are you... ser-serious?!"

"Yeah. Why are you so surprised? After all, you called your right hand "Asuka" after that night you tried to kiss me, didn't you? Right?"

Shinji covered his burning face in his hands, mortified. "Stop embarrassing me! It's still beyond me how you can have no problem with that!"

The girl began to laugh, clearly enjoying flirting with him. "Ufufu.. but it's true, isn’t it? And like I said last night, it makes me happy to know you like me so much."

Staring at each other, their cheeks flushed, his heart nearly skipped a beat. "Of course. You're... you're the only one I want."

She smiled lovingly, expression gentle. Her eyes lacked the usual stern, sometimes mocking, gaze she reserved for Shinji. Instead, Asuka seemed truly at peace with him. "I know, Shinji. I feel the same way."

Holding onto each other's hands, their lips met in a soft kiss as they stared into each other's blue eyes. As they broke away, Asuka suddenly said, "Hey! While we're here, why don't I teach you some swimming basics? You never got around to learning how to swim, right?"

He blinked, puzzled. "Eh? In a hot spring? But.." He frowned, fidgeting. "But I don't want to..." She smirked at his hesitation. "It's just for a little bit! I'll help you, okay?"

"But I really can't swim! You'll just laugh at me when I drown, plus I don't think you'd have the patience for it!"

Sighing heavily, Asuka rolled her eyes Heavenward at that. "Anta Baka? Why else am I asking you? Come on now!"

Shinji glanced down at the water below; his eyes began watering as he fidgeted yet again. "Buuut..."

Asuka blinked in surprise, taken aback. "Shinji, are you crying?"

"N—no.", he sniffled. A reassuring hand fell onto his shoulder. "Don't worry so much! I won't let anything happen to you!", she smiled warmly.

Letting out a sigh, Shinji knew he had no choice but to accept defeat. "...Okay, fine. But...Only for a little while." With a grin, Asuka simply replied, "Gut!"

***

Asuka let out a happy sigh as the two got ready for bed that night. They returned from the hot springs feeling tired but relaxed. "Now that was fun, wasn't it?" He smiled at her. "Yeah, it was, actually. We have to do it again sometime."

"You did pretty well with what I taught you. You're a fast learner, Shinji." The boy's cheeks turned red, flattered. "Thanks."

Putting on her short pajama bottoms, Asuka bluntly asked, "Hey. Shinji. Do you want to spoon tonight?" The blued-eyed boy blinked uneasily, clearly confused and shy. "Uh...that um, depends on what it is."

She grinned, explaining, "It's when you lay down together so your front's pressing into the other person's back. It's not sex or anything."

His anxiety decreasing, Shinji nodded. "Oh. Um, then if you want to, that's fine." Smiling, Asuka ordered, "Good. Shinji, lay down." "Yeah."

Laying with his body pressed against her back, Shinji wrapped his arms around Asuka beneath her breasts, as Asuka's hands rested gently atop his.

The couple spoke in soft tones. "Are you warm, Asuka?" "Mmh. Do you feel warm, Shinji?" "Yeah. I feel warm and safe because I’m with Asuka-chan."

Silence, they listened to the other's heart beat as well as their breathing. After a few minutes of this, Asuka finally spoke.

"That night...before the battle we unison-trained for, before I slept in the living room, I... When I went to sleep in Misato's room, I was...waiting, for you to knock on the door and check on me. To insist that we still sleep in the same room because of the next day's battle. Did you know that?"

He shook his head in reply. "No. Not until I saw your memories of the 15th's attack. Although at this point, I can't remember everything I discovered about you during that, uh mind meld, just the real important things."

Thinking about her own somewhat fuzzy memories of that Instrumentality mind meld, Asuka nodded. "Yeah. It's the same with me."

Shinji quietly asked, "Why? Why did you want me near you?"

"...Because I wanted some comfort. I wanted to see if you cared already and would just hold me and do something like you are now."

Shinji wasn’t able to respond to that. He just couldn’t.

"That previous week, when I first met you, I had you join me in my first battle not just because I wanted to impress you. I was feeling scared now that I think about it, so I hoped having you near me would help ease my fear of the unknown. And it did. Ordering you around helped me keep my cool."

A frown made it’s way to the boy’s lips. "So you were using me?"

Thankful the darkness of the night prevented Shinji from seeing her blushing, Asuka’s hand tightened around Shinji’s own. "No. Needing you."

"Asuka. Why are you telling me all this now?" He couldn’t understand her sudden need to talk about her feelings out of the blue. It just wasn’t like her, even though Shinji didn’t mind this personality change of hers.

"...Just making small talk," she quietly said, before deciding to outwardly admit something to him as well as herself. "No, it's because I want you to understand me, I want to finally tell you these things."

Jokingly, Shinji replied, "At least we didn't end up making out or making love that night. If we'd have been caught, Misato-san would have probably yelled at us that that's not what she meant by training in perfect unison."

Asuka smiled slightly at what he said, but looked somewhat sad. He frowned, pausing in awkward silence. Smiling, he found a way to cheer her up; "Asuka, what you do want to know about me?" "Everything."

Not really knowing how to begin, Shinji picked with the topic he couldn’t help but feel curious about. "Um, so...why did you always say I was perverted?"

Asuka rolled her eyes. "Because you were!" Point-blank, Shinji frowned, "Isn't it just because you instantly thought dirty things yourself?"

Her cheeks turning crimson, Asuka lightly smacked his head in reply. He was right. "Ouch! Asuka...!"

The seething redhead crossed her arms. "Oh, shut up, Baka-Shinji! So what if I think about dirty things like you do?!"

Confused, Shinji tried to explain what he meant. "Huh? But, but I didn't say there was anything wrong with that...And umm well…" Letting out a sigh after trailing off, he kissed her neck, hugging her tightly. "Asuka, let's keep talking, but stay like this. I want us to share our warmth."

"Yeah. I want that, too...", Asuka murmured, suddenly feeling a little tired. She added, "I want us to talk some more, too, and anyway, we can always just sleep-in tomorrow morning."

Holding her arms tight, Shinji closed his eyes and smiled. In a soft voice, he said, "Asuka? What are we going to do now that we don't have Eva?"

The girl let out a loud sigh. Come to think of it, what would she doe now that her only true reason for living was gone? What else could there be for her in life? "Personally, I'm just going to keep on living and find my worth in various things, not just one. You know, to become happy with myself."

She happily added, "Shinji, one thing that'd be good is sticking with playing the cello! You're really good at that!"

Shinji sulked, nervously clenching and unclenching a hand. "Eh? But I'm really NOT that good at playing cello...I suck."

Making a face, the fiery redhead’s patience wore out. "Anta Baka?! Just how were you able to play something as complicated as Bach's Cello Suite No 1 Prelude if you suck at playing? You have talent! Give yourself some more credit, jeez!"

He couldn’t help but admit defeat. When Asuka was right about something, there was just no saying otherwise. "....Okay, I will."

Asuka angrily added, "And it can't just be because I told you to! It has to be for your own good, Baka Shinji!" Shinji winced at her yelling and replied, slightly annoyed, "I know that already! You don't need to say it like that."

***

Later that night, Shinji suddenly woke up after falling asleep. His blue eyes scanned the surroundings of the small but comfortable apartment. That's right...Asuka really is with me now.

He noticed that she was now laying on top of him as she slept. Asuka had apparently tossed and turned during the night. Blinking sleepily, Shinji found himself staring at her. Although he couldn't see her cleavage like that one time, the girl still looked beautiful. She looks so peaceful when sleeping...So relaxed. It's...nicer....than how Asuka can act sometimes when awake, but I love her just the same.

Licking his lips, Shinji realized his heart was pounding. God...I just want to kiss her...Since I couldn't, that one time... But, it's not taking advantage of her, right? It's just one innocent kiss, and we're together, so why would she get mad?

Eyes wandering to her breasts, he saw the cold had caused Asuka's nipples to poke through her shirt. His gaze went back up to her soft face; she sighed in her sleep, shivering a little. Her skin was so soft and smooth, her hands small and cute, her breasts perfectly proportioned... Though his fiery red haired, blue eyed, angel wasn't just physically beautiful, she was mentally, too. She was intelligent, an amazing pilot, strong-willed...

...Deep down, a good person...

The blood rushing downstairs, becoming lightheaded, Shinji wasn't thinking straight. His whole body felt like it was a charging battery, his lips moist, a lump forming in his throat. Consequences be damned.

Inching to her face, his lips softly, sweetly, met hers, his eyes open. She sighed, encouraging him to put his hands on her shoulders. Feeling bold, Shinji softly parted Asuka's lips with his tongue, as if daring her to wake up.

Breaking away, he blinked to see Asuka stirring, her eyes softly opening. Frozen in shock, he nearly turned pale. Groggily staring at him, she blinked. "Shinji...?" She blinked again.

Shinji promptly turned red, not being able to hide his emotions from her. It was just as well that Shinji couldn't speak as his erection pressing against Asuka's body answered for him. Cheeks red, Asuka blinked, silent. As she stared at her boyfriend, their faces grew hot.

Silence. Interminable silence.

Until Asuka wrapped her arms around his back, drew him in close, and before he could even gasp in surprise, kissed him, hard. She intentionally rubbed her body against his, enjoying the friction of his erection pressing against her stomach. They groaned loudly, aroused.

Breaking away, she smirked, blue eyes passionate. "You know how I can't stay indebted to you, baka. Now we're even."

"Um...I…”, face bright red, Shinji nervously stuttered out, “I'm just a little surprised that you didn't get mad."

Asuka’s eyes were surprisingly gentle and calm. "Why would I get mad just because you kissed me? I feel comfortable around you lately..." He smiled, blushing, flattered. "Re—really? Me too!"

"Shinji...”, Asuka’s teeth chattered while she wrapped both her arms around one of his scrawny ones, nuzzling her face into his shoulder. Her nipples pressed into his chest as she shivered. "I'm...cold. Can you warm me up?"

His eyes grew light. "Of course. Let's go back to sleep?" She nodded as Shinji’s arms rested against the girl’s upper back, drawing her body against his chest. He stroked her soft red hair, occasionally rocking their bodies together, as if a baby being soothed in its parent’s arms.

As they cuddled, their heads leaning against the other's shoulder, Asuka let out a happy sigh. "Shinji...I feel like I want you...but, we can wait, right?" He nodded sleepily. "Right, we can. After all, patience is a virtue."

Giving him a peck on the cheek, Asuka murmured, "Night, baka..." Already beginning to drift off to sleep, Asuka was silently thankful their discussion ended when it did. Having not been able to make love to Shinji yet was starting to be a source of frustration… Although neither knew just what the other wanted sexually; they’d dodge around the actual issue of sex whenever it seemed close to coming up in their conversations.

Shinji wondered why he felt sad as Asuka curled up into his arms to rest. Because it wasn’t after he had a chance to express his love for the girl? At length, Shinji gently yet wearily replied: "Sweet dreams, Asuka."

Asuka stirred in his embrace, burying her face deeper into his chest as she moaned softly in her sleep.

***

Two months had passed, and the couple had become accustomed with living alone together. Although the state of the seasons hadn't changed from how they were previous to Second Impact, the month of May was welcomed, nevertheless. They were able to live on quite fine in terms of supplies, their only real problem was the fact nobody else had apparently returned...

"I wonder, Shinji. Since it is possible...maybe people have already returned, just not necessarily anybody we know? Maybe that’s why we're still alone?"

Asuka had asked this once doing their daily routine of keeping vigil at the LCL Sea's beach. It was early evening: the sun was slowly sinking in the horizon as the LCL waves picked up.

"I really don't know, Asuka. It's possible, but..." He shrugged tiredly. "Whatever. Let's just go home, okay?"

Frowning, Asuka's eyes narrowed. "What's this? Getting discouraged again, Shinji?"

He rubbed his temples with his right hand, his left hand idly lay in his lap. "No. I mean, I just don't know. Is it that hard for the people that WE know to want to go on living? It...depresses me, that's all."

Asuka took his hand, giving a reassuring squeeze. "’That's all’? Things are going to be alright, okay? Hell, they've been alright since I returned! Once things are back to normal, we can both go to a therapist and get the help we need to get better."

Shinji actually rolled his eyes at that. "What, and be put on drugs so we don't act like ourselves?", he sarcastically muttered.

She blinked slowly in reply, taken aback by his attitude. He occasionally acted sarcastic since it was just them, and it worried her somewhat. Although it was reassuring to see Shinji gaining a backbone, Asuka didn't understand why it had to be like this. "Um, no. Not necessarily, but medication combined with therapy does help the best with depression."

Hoping that acting silly would cheer him up, Asuka began loudly singing and whistling: "Always look on the bright side of life...Always looks on the light side of life..."

Shinji smiled a little at the song. Loudly sighing while sitting upright, he began to brush the sand off of his clothes. "I'm sorry, Asuka, I just..."

The aching silence, besides that of the waves picking up, left the couple to their thoughts.

"It's alright. Don't worry about it.", she replied calmly after a few minutes had passed. The redhead grinned as she began flirting. "Besides, isn't it nice how it's just us? We can do anything we want." She slowly licked her lips, making sure he noticed. At that, she wrapped her arms around him, warmly kissing Shinji's lips.

Breaking away, he began lightly kissing her face. "Then why haven't we done anything together besides masturbating?"

She blushed out of annoyance. "Baka! Don't kill the mood like that when I'm flirting with you!"

"Okay.", he replied, shrugging a little while doing so.

Asuka did a double-take. "Okay?! What, no "So-Sorry"?" Asuka made a point of imitating Shinji’s stuttering when saying his frequently used word.

Shinji looked puzzled. "What do you mean?"

The girl sighed as she shook her head, smirking. "Nothing. It's just nice to see you acting more assertive and not so pathetic, that's all."

Giving him a sudden smile, Asuka added, "Why don't we go home and make something good to eat for dinner? I'll even help if you let me know what I can do."

His mood instantly brightened. "Sure! I haven't really taught you a whole lot about cooking yet, so that'd be fun."

Standing, the two tightly held hands as they made their way back home, reassured they had each other.

***

A week after this event had happened, Asuka's advice of hanging in there had proven to be correct. They were taking a walk in the local city they had been residing at. Squinting in the distance, Asuka nearly froze. "Shinji," the girl said, poking him in the arm. "Look." Shinji's eyes widened at whom he and Asuka saw. "No way..."

Both grew silent as the person who ran up to them was none other than the former Major of Nerv, Katsuragi Misato. Shinji and Misato stared at each other, both feeling awkward. An uncomfortable blush grew on Shinji's face. "...Misato-san."

There was a serious, somewhat saddened look on face. "Shinji-kun..." She smiled suddenly. "Thank you for keeping your promise. I'm glad to know you found yourself. But why didn't you think I'd return?"

"....." Staring at the ground, Shinji looked sad.

Asuka rolled her eyes. "Oh come on! Enough with the awkwardness already! Just kiss—NOT literally—and make up so we can figure out what to do now!"

"So, have you and Shinji-kun been doing well?"

Turning pale, Asuka nearly froze at that voice. Her schoolgirl crush had already begun to fade, but she still cared for him...

"KAJI-SAN!"

She hugged him tight, but then just as quickly let go, clearing her throat and looking dignified. Her eyes grew wet despite her reservations, "I'm so glad you're okay...!"

Kaji smiled at the redhead. "You did well at fighting, Asuka." She blushed from the embarrassment of the uncomfortable memory. "Mama was helping me fight in my final battle...She protected me."

"Still, the fact you were able to recover from your coma and decided to live on...That's something to be proud of." Asuka blushed slightly. "Thank you, Kaji-san."

Smiling, Asuka suddenly took Shinji's hand, whispering in his ear. "I'm holding back with Kaji-san because I have you now, right?" Blinking, he then smiled back. "Right."

Misato looked uncomfortable while staring at her former charges. "Um, listen. I know that a lot of bad things happened, so if you say "No", I'll understand, but..." She closed her brown eyes. "Would you two like to try living together again with me? I'll be a proper...mother...this time around. I promise.", Misato quietly concluded.

Asuka replied, "Misato, you just don't want to give up trying to be a mother figure to us, do you?" Grinning, she added, "I don't mind trying it out again. You can't blame yourself for everything that happened."

Misato was so surprised she couldn't even reply. Asuka agreed?! But you weren't really fond of me, so why...? "Thank you, Asuka. And I do care about you and Rei. Not only Shinji-kun."

Asuka turned to him, mumbling, "Speaking of which." "Shinji, what do you think? Do you want to live with your Misato-san again?"

"...I'll think about it."

To say Asuka was dumbfounded was an understatement. "Eh?! What do you mean you'll think about it?! Shinji! You of all people should of a yes or no answer right away!"

With a hint of sadness in her voice, Misato replied, "It's alright, Asuka. You shouldn't rush him with his decision."

The German redhead scowled. "This is serious issue, damn it! Yes, he's understandably upset about everything that happened, but we can make things right this time! I just know it!"

Sighing, Shinji promptly left, needing to think.

Puzzled, Asuka ran after him, exclaiming, "Hey! Just where do you think you're going?! Shinji! Baka, wait up!"

After the two had left the area, Misato quietly said, "He's wearing my cross necklace..." Kaji frowned. "So he is. With what just happened, I guess we came back at a bad time?"

Wrapping her arms around his waist, she tiredly replied, "Probably. I'm just glad that we returned, together. That's one good thing out of all of this." Grinning, Kaji murmured in her ear, "Now that they're gone, shall we "celebrate" again?"

Misato playfully smacked her lover in response. "Knock it off. We already did it twice in a row as soon as we returned and I'm STILL sore from how much we went at it! Anyway..." The woman became serious. "I have my suspicions about those two."

Kaji grew surprised. "You don't think they..."

Misato nodded, somewhat grave. "I do. They seem a bit too close, in my opinion. Though I could tell they liked each other, neither ever bothered to show it before..."

Kaji sighed, thinking back to the night he and Asuka were en route to Japan. "Perhaps going through the Instrumentality Project made them change their minds about each other? But to think Asuka would do that after all... I know she was serious because of her crush on me, but she even mentioned to me before that she didn't want children..."

"I just hope that if they did do anything, they at least used some form of protection.", Misato replied before losing herself in thought.

***

Shinji was staring at the grass in a nearby abandoned park, lost in thought. He sat on a bench, hands in lap, sighing.

"Can you please tell me why you're upset?", Asuka asked this while sitting next to Shinji, bringing her knees into her chest. "...Why?", he softly asked.

"Because! I want to help you, too!" She gently touched his hand, and he hugged her in reply, touched.

"With Misato-san...though I'm still upset over what happened, I know that will be able to forgive her. It will take some time, but I know she still feels guilty about everything."

/"I couldn't be a mother to Shinji-kun, after all."/ /"Stop it! Stop it, Misato-san." "Sometimes, I lose all hope for myself! I hate it!"/ /"That's an adult kiss. We'll do the rest when you come back."/ /"This is also me. The me when two people are joined as one. The me Shinji-kun never knew. Reality is painful, but you just have to except it."/

"What really bothers me is...things are still so painful...And, it scares me...It really scares me!" Eyes watering, although he managed to blink it back, he added, "What...what should I do? What'll make the hurt of everything go away?"

/"Shinji-kun, I'm sorry. The pilot was Suzuhara Touji."/ /"Please don't look inside my mind! Don't dig any deeper into my heart!"/ /"Is this my heart? To be one with Ikari-kun? ...No."/ /"I don’t remember. I mean, I just don't know. Probably because I'm the Third."/ /"Thank you. I'm glad I met you."/ /"You're not happy, are you?" "Why?" "Without others, you can't recognize your own image."/ /"So this is my retribution? I'm sorry, Shinji."/

/"Are you alright if the A.T. Fields hurt you and others again?" "I don't mind. But, what are the two of you inside my heart?" "The hope that people will one day understand each other." "Along with the word "love"."/

Giving him a tight hug, Asuka said, "Shinji, I'm about to say something very cliché, but it's true. The past is past. So just forgive yourself and others, and move on. As long as you remember what caused pain, you can prevent it from happening again, right?"

Actually feeling a little better, Shinji softly kissed her cheek. "Thanks, Asuka. That's really profound."

She blushed slightly, flattered. "No problem. Just stop worrying so much about things, okay?" "Yeah. And I'll live with you and Misato-san again. We might as well give it a shot, right?" "That's the spirit!"

***

"...Misato-san?"

The purple-haired woman turned at the gentle voice calling her name. Her heart grew heavy. "Shinji-kun..."

He was smiling at her. "All we need is Pen-Pen to return and then we'll all be like a family again. Right?" She caught his meaning instantly. He would live with her again...? And somehow, her heart managed to warm at that... A hand on her hip, she kept her distance as a means to test him out while replying.

"Actually, he's already back. Pen-Pen's being cared for by the returnees we met up with. It'd be too dangerous for all of us to go looking for supplies in case we ran into some other survivors."

Shinji was shocked. "Really, Misato-san? Did you say returnees?!"

Asuka nudged Shinji in the ribs, smirking. "See? What did I tell you? I knew other people would return besides us!"

The boy scowled. "I know that already! You don't need to rub it in my face, Asuka!" Asuka glared at his attitude. "What was that?!"

Misato grinned, "Aw...Aren't you two cute together?" Kaji smirked, adding, "Well, they certainly learned from the best."

Glaring slightly at the pair, the redhead bluntly replied, "But you know, I'm still scarred for life at what Kaji-san and Misato do when they’re all alone..." Neither Misato or Kaji were sure how to respond. Freaking out, Shinji nervously replied at her rudeness: "Asuka! You shouldn't say such things!"

"But what I'm saying is the truth! Shinji, you thought seeing them having was gross, right?" The heat from Shinji’s face could start a fire. "That...That's because Misato-san's like my mother figure!" Asuka rolled her eyes. "NO, it's because you're a prude!" Shinji angrily clenched his fists, embarrassed. "I AM not!"

The older couple grew uncomfortable after the exchange between the two children. Misato waved her hand back and forth, "Now, now..." Kaji nervously smiled, "Why are you two quarreling all of a sudden?"

"Because he's/she's starting to drive me nuts!", the two teens yelled in unison.

Misato and Kaji burst out laughing at Shinji and Asuka’s bickering. Asuka narrowed her eyes. "Kaji-san! Just what's so damn funny?!" Shinji nodded. "Yeah, we're being serious here!"

Misato couldn't help but wipe a tear from her eye. "Because you two are being so cute, that's why! You're acting like such a married couple!"

Both replied angrily, red in the face, "We ARE not! Will people stop saying that about us?!"

***

The over-dramatics having ceased, the four began walking together in silence.

Curiosity got the better of Asuka. "How did you meet up with these returnees, anyway?"

"Kaji-kun and I only returned a few days ago. We apparently returned at a beach that's a good ways North from where Hakone used to be. Anyway, the group was camping out in some abandoned houses nearby and we ran into them."

Kaji suddenly interjected, "So, you two, what were your plans for the day? Shall we give you some time to adjust before the three of you try living together again?"

Misato didn’t like the sound of that. She wanted Kaji to be near her. "Three of us!? Kaji-kun, you're going to live with Shinji-kun, Asuka and me as well! They need a father figure, after all."

Kaji was for the most part pleased at his love's response. "Father figure?! Nah, that's just not me. How about I play the part of the cool yet wise older brother instead?" Misato shrugged. "If you'd really prefer to live by yourself, then sure."

Shinji and Asuka stared at each other, lost in thought. "Hmm...What should we do, Asuka?" She rolled her eyes at the boy's question. "Anta baka?! I don't know! We should decide this together, right!"

Nodding, Shinji replied, "Yeah." He nervously cleared his throat, suddenly aware that all eyes were on him. Jeez! Why do I have to decide this?

"I think...Asuka and I do need a few days to adjust. We'll get all of our things squared away, and in the meantime, Misato-san and Kaji-san can find a big enough place so we can live together. Is that okay?"

Asuka smiled. She was proud he decided something on his own. "Yeah, I have no problem with that." Misato and Kaji nodded in agreement. "Sure, it sounds fine to us, too."

Shinji nodded, turning around to head back towards his apartment with Asuka. "Then, in that case...Come on, Asuka, let's go home."

Misato gave a start. "Ah, Shinji-kun, wait." The young boy stopped in his tracks. "Eh? What’s wrong Misato-san?" Misato wrapped her arms around Shinji, and kissed him. Not romantically, like the final time she had motivated him to pilot, but a motherly kiss on the forehead.

Breaking away, Misato gave the boy a sweet smile. "Thank you for not giving up yourself. And for answering your questions."

He slowly smiled in reply, a hand idly clenching the cross necklace that Misato wordlessly had given him. The cross was confirmation of his existence, from the lone survivor of one Impact to the next. "It's hard...but I'm getting there."
***

A lone train car at dusk. Shinji's personal hell. Occasionally, the wailing sound of train crossing bells, getting louder and then decreasing in intensity, could be heard. Shinji looked around the familiar surroundings, expression neutral. "Ayanami is usually here to talk to me..."

Asuka frowned, looking somewhat uncomfortable, "Why are we back here again?"

The boy let out a long sigh, staring straight ahead to where he'd normally see Rei 3 or himself as a child staring right back at him. The couple was sitting side by side, clad in their former school uniforms. "I don't know...Especially if I decided to stay here, in reality, the real-world...Why am I back here again?"

"...Shinji. You know...", Asuka's eyes narrowed somewhat angrily, "you never promised me back that you'd have me all to yourself."

"Pro—promised you back? What do you mean?! Weren't you just trying to let me know that you didn't care if I did that, but you wanted me to be with you instead?"

Asuka glared. "That's not the point! Just keep in mind that if you really love me, our relationship couldn't just be about sex! We need to still find that emotional connection first!"

He looked worried and hurt, eyes averted to the floor of the train car, "What...? Do you mean we haven't yet? ...Asuka."

Asuka bit her lip, tiredly sighing, "I just don't know anymore. But, I do know you've been relying on me far too much and I'm sick of it! Just stand on your own two feet already!"

Stunned from surprise at her words, the brown-haired-boy felt like he couldn't breathe, his body twitching somewhat. Burying his face in his hands, he muttered, trembling, "Asuka...What...happened?" She didn't respond.

Feeling himself start to panic, he quickly asked, "What happened?! We were okay, and now all of a sudden you say don't want to help me at all?!"

Looking angry, Asuka stood up, her face inches away from his. "No! That's NOT what I meant! I..." Her eyes widened, as she paled. Sitting back down next to him while keeping her distance, Asuka realized she was falling back into old patterns, after all. It was what she meant, in a way.

Secretly, she had wondered if either of them were really getting better, or if becoming a couple had been weighing each other down. A thick silence had filled the otherwise empty car, both having the same worry in their hearts.

"I think...I know what our problem is, Shinji." His mouth was dry. "What...?"

"Hell isn’t other people when it comes to needing each other, because neither of us want to be alone. We can't be alone. But...Relying on each other so much is...false. Whatever happened to taking care of yourself?"

Shinji looked scared, shaking his head back and forth. "No, no, no! Asuka, please don't say that! Don't! I feel like I'm better when I'm with you! I actually feel happy! Don't make me be all alone! I...I NEED YOU!"

Looking at him out of the corner of her eye, she softly replied, "Then prove it."

He blinked. "Eh?" Shinji looked up, surprised to see Asuka standing over him. She suddenly sat in his lap, facing his direction. "I'll stay with you, but only if we both promise to work on ourselves."

She hotly breathed in his ear, causing him to shudder, "Agreed?" Letting out a gulp, he shakily nodded, looking confused and nervous.

"Asu—" The boy was cut off, as the redhead began to passionately kiss him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. A soft groan escaped Shinji's lips as he embraced the slender girl in return, his arms gently supporting the small of her back.

***

Blinking, Shinji suddenly realized he was staring into Asuka's stunned eyes as he attempted to strangle her. How long was he alone for? Several days? Several months?

Just how long...did she leave him all alone for? After claiming she loved him, too... His grip loosening due to the fact she caressed his cheek, Shinji began to sob against her chest. With a cold glare and equally cold voice, Asuka said, "You make me sick."

Still crying, Shinji managed to push himself off of the girl, only to sit on the sand, lost in thought. Asuka took the opportunity to sit upright, bringing her knees into her chest. The two just sat in silence for a good hour or two. Lost in their own thoughts, neither really knew what to say. Until...

"...You hate me now, don't you?"

Startled by the sudden words, Asuka turned to look at Shinji. The look in his blue eyes was far-away, full of deep sadness, regret.

Trying to maintain composure at the pitiful sight before her, Asuka slowly replied.

"I never said I hated you, did I?" Looking at her stunned, he shouted: "But I—!"

"Saved the whole fucking world.", Asuka interjected, her light blue eyes narrowed. Staring at her bandaged arm momentarily, the redhead added: "So what if you didn't show up in time to save me? In your state of mind, it would have been impossible for you to fight properly, anyway!"

Standing, Asuka looked at the boy coldly. "We're finally together, as we both always wanted, and yet you can't even be happy about it for one minute! Instead, you focus only on the negative aspects of everything! Why is it so hard for you to believe that as long as we're together, we'll be alright?!"

Emotionless at the pure white sand before him, the boy nodded. "Yeah, I am being negative. ...Sorry."

Enraged at his state of mind, Asuka couldn't take it anymore. "STUPID!" Grabbing onto his collar with both hands, she screamed into his face. "Snap the FUCK out of it, Stupid-Shinji! I forgive you, so forgive yourself already! IF YOU REALLY WANT TO BE ALL MINE, THEN START ACTING LIKE IT!"

Shinji stared at her, shocked. It was the same look of disbelief he had as she caressed his cheek...

Sighing loudly, her voice became gentle, despite her still being angry.

"Shinji, I forgive you for everything. Why can't you forgive yourself? Just promise me that you'll hold me and you'll always be mine! I'll promise to always be yours! But, like I told you in the train car, we CAN'T just keep relying on each other!"

As Asuka spoke, Shinji's eyes had locked with hers. "You mean...Worthless me...Can really be forgiven? For everything...?"

"Of course! And you're not worthless, Shinji! A worthless person wouldn't have the courage and maturity like you did to save us all!"

At those words, Shinji burst out sobbing. "Then why the hell do I still feel this way?! Why...why did I have to be alone for so long?! Why didn't you return earlier?! Why..?!"

Trembling, he frantically reached out for Asuka, sobbing into her shoulder as he tightly held her. Startled, the German girl looked at him for a moment before returning the embrace. Asuka was surprised at first to realize she was crying, as well.

Of course. He's finally, finally, holding me....But despite that, he's in pain. We...we both are...!

"Oh, God, Shinji, please don't cry...", Asuka feebly replied, her voice high-pitched. "Please don't cry!", she repeated as they embraced, neither knowing what else to say or do.

A moment of silence passed.

"...Shinji." His eyes meeting hers, before he could even reply, the girl had kissed him passionately, her hands wrapping around his head. Groaning, they kept kissing, their hands roaming around the others body...

His hand fumbled a few times while he shakily managed to unzip his pants... Using a discarded knife he found that he kept in his back pants pocket for safety reasons, Shinji gently cut off the areas that covered her breasts. They nearly bounced from their sudden exposure as she giggled in reply. He slowly and carefully repeated the process for the area that covered her vulva. Asuka smiled as he stared at her partially nude body, pulling down his pants and briefs.

Not thinking straight, the couple french-kissed over and over again as Shinji wasted no time in thrusting into her. She cried out loudly, tears instantly running down her cheeks.

"Asuka! I'm sorry...I'm sorry, Asuka..." Biting her lip, she simply replied, "Shut up already and fuck me." Nodding, he began kissing and licking her neck as she kissed his temple, moving together...

"Oh, Shinji, ah...This...this feels so good!" Asuka was overwhelmed at his fast and hard thrusts inside of her warmth. The base of his member rubbed against her clitoris, increasing the pleasure. "Uh, Asuka...", he gritted his teeth, sweating.

The smooth and soft fabric of her sexy, skintight, plugsuit rubbing against him... The heat that their bodies were making together... Groaning, she threw her arms around his back, starting to practically claw him through his shirt... "Shinji! Shinji, I, I'm already coming! I'm coming!"

Clenching her blue eyes tight, the redhead passionately cried out, "Shinjiiiiiiii!" His eyes watering and his throat constricted, with a grunt, Shinji climaxed a moment after her. "A—Asukaa...Haa!"

Emotionally and physically exhausted, they breathed heavily, neither moving to end their intimate connection. They lay together, him still on top of her, embracing. Softly kissing on the lips, Asuka gently caressed his cheek again. With a tired smile, Shinji lay his head down against her soft breasts. Both felt too relaxed for words.

And yet suddenly, like a train hitting him at full speed, he became aware of what had just transpired. He and Asuka had made love. Trembling with fear and sudden adrenaline, Shinji instantly sat upright, breaking away from her wet body, some of their come and her blood spilling onto the sand below. "Oh, no. No, no, no. Asuka, Asuka! We...we...just..."

His arms suddenly wrapping around her back, drawing her head against his shoulder, his quivering voice exclaimed, "We just had sex! What, what are we going to do? What if you're...?!"

Asuka sharply replied, "Shinji! Calm down!" He winced at that, visibly frightened. Sighing, she exhaled, gently adding, "Like I told you back there, I want to be with you, too. You want to be with me always as well, right?" He couldn't help but smile, gathering her in his arms. "Yeah. We'll always be together forever, my Asuka..."

She smiled sweetly in reply. "That's why this is okay. Because you're with me, the consequences don't matter. The only thing that matters is us."

***

Startled, Shinji's eyes widened as he awoke. Shooting up with surprise in bed, he looked around, realizing that he was in his room. Breathing heavily, the boy trembled slightly, putting a hand onto his chest. "Uh...Ha..."

Calming down, he gently lay his head against the soft pillow, his blanket strewn about in his sleep. Why did he have to have such a disturbing dream now, of all times? It was already late spring, his fifteenth birthday was right around the corner on June 6...

And somehow, life was already returning to normal... He felt somewhat sad that it wasn't just himself and Asuka anymore, and yet, he was relieved that other people had returned as well. Even if neither of the Children were aware of that until Misato and Kaji found them. Most of the now-ex members of Nerv had returned, although if his father had returned as well, he wasn't aware of it. Supposedly, Seele was still within the LCL Sea, and if that was the case; good riddance.

Let them in stay there as individual souls, since they no longer had any means to force the rest of humanity to take part of it. The only one that wasn't back yet was Rei (as well as Kaworu)... She was probably still watching over people... Shinji had missed the blue-haired girl terribly.

Especially after everything that happened, he was starting to think of Rei as his little sister. And yet, Ayanami wasn't even around for Shinji to let her know his feelings. Life was finally beginning to look a whole lot brighter, so why did he have to feel so... Shinji gulped, taking in a deep breath to calm his racing heart as he sat upright again. In my dream....Asuka and I actually... But, I don't want it to be like that! It's supposed to be romantic, it's supposed to be at the right time and place...Why?

Letting out a sigh, he buried his face into his hands. "How could I dream about something so screwed up? I really DO have problems..." Sighing again, the 14-year old glumly stared at his bed sheets—nothing in particular—until he noticed his erection... His mind began to wander... He imagined Asuka, topless, her breasts within his line of vision, sucking his penis until he came. He wondered what it would be like to take her from behind as their hearts and bodies were one... To hear her beautiful voice crying out his name as they began coming together...

His breathing going heavy, Shinji's right hand unconsciously reached out for his hard member, throwing off his briefs. It's probably the only way I'll feel better...And I need to fall back to sleep somehow. He smiled slightly. I might as well do something that relaxes me...It's nothing I should be ashamed of. Asuka doesn't mind that I think of her; and its perfectly normal—even she does it—so... Stroking himself, Shinji let out a groan.

Losing himself in the feelings, he firmly grasped onto his penis. Precome was already dripping out. His breathing growing heavy, Shinji’s hand pumped faster and faster, wanting to come soon. Blocking out the slight thumping of his bed, the boy could feel himself getting there, getting there... Shutting his blue eyes tight as he suddenly came into his hand, Shinji moaned out, “Asukaaa!”

The world coming back into focus, he moved his hand away from his now flaccid penis. His eyes focused on his bedroom door as his heavy breathing returned to normal. Standing up to put his underwear back on, Shinji went into the bathroom to wash up. Maybe...I should go and talk to her too, since I’m awake...

***

Half-asleep, Asuka fully awoke to a gentle knocking on her sliding door. Her room was still across from Shinji’s. Misato was able to find an apartment that was a similar structure to the one she had back in Tokyo-3. The only real difference was more furniture in the apartment and Misato’s room was bigger then before so Kaji could stay with her.

“Asuka? It’s Shinji. I don’t mean to bug you, but, I want to talk to you...” Still awake despite feeling tired, Asuka softly replied, “Come in, Shinji.”

Smiling gently at her, the boy sat at the foot of her bed. She frowned, noticing his eyes look troubled. “What’s wrong, Shinji?” Staring at the floor, Shinji began.

"Um...Asuka? I had a really bad dream. We...", he blushed, realizing the slight humor in his next statement, "had sex on the beach."

Asuka snorted in reply, "Remind me again how that's a bad thing?" Getting somewhat annoyed, Shinji exclaimed, "Because! It just...wasn't right. We...That...It's supposed to be romantic. It's supposed to be at the right place and time, not a heat of the moment sort of thing."

With a sigh, Shinji told his girlfriend about the rest of his dream and what he did afterwards. He closed his eyes as he finished, feeling somewhat sad.

“There’s nothing to be sad about, Shinji. We’re been getting along so well, that even if we would have a fight about something I’m sure we’d make up soon.” Clearing his throat, Shinji slowly nodded. “I think so too, Asuka.”

The reply Shinji heard was what caught him off guard: “And you know...I wouldn’t mind if you made me yours right now. I think we’re ready.” She smiled warmly at him, kissing his lips gently. The girl said in a cute manner, “Don’t you agree?”

Shinji’s eyes widened from shock. “Eh?! But we’re...I mean...” The boy fidgeted nervously.

Asuka’s smile while sitting upright in her futon. She held back a giggle at his anxious behavior. “Shinji, it’s okay. Telling me about your dream and that you masturbated afterwards got me really hot. It’s okay. I want us to become one. Shinji.”

The redhead’s soft hand rested atop of Shinji’s, reassuringly, while his heart sped up. As they sat on her bed, the boy slowly held her hand in reply.

***

Shinji couldn't help but blush, everything was happening so fast. A gentle, yet passionate light was in Asuka's eyes as she stared deeply at him, her cheeks red. "Shinji...it’s okay." The girl put her arms around him, bringing him into a tight hug.

He looked away from the bedroom eyes Asuka gave him, saddened that he felt so conflicted. "A—Asuka...You say it’s okay that we do this, but... I, I don't know. It's not that I don't want you, but I'm...scared. I don't want things to change between us! I really do love you, and I want us to be together forever, but what if things don't work out? What if we mess this up one day and you get pregnant? We're both too young to deal with that sort of thing, we're only 14, kids ourselves! I..."

With a loving smile, Asuka climbed on top of him, pushing the boy back on the bed, him on top of her. Tenderly caressing his cheek, Shinji blushed deeper, not being able to help but smile warmly in reply at her kindness.

"Shinji, don’t worry. We'll be careful because we'll make sure to always use protection, right? In terms of things changing between us, nothing has to. Sex is just a new aspect to our relationship; a way we can be truly intimate with each other... I'm scared too, but, if this is with you, Shinji, then I don't mind."

Shinji fidgeted nervously at Asuka’s next words: "And we'll always be together, I know it. If we make sure to give room to grow as individuals and a couple, we can make this work. My feelings are just as real as yours, Baka-Shinji..."

His blue eyes widened, tearing up. "Asuka..." He was touched deeply by what she was saying, yet he couldn’t help feel suddenly depressed. "...Asuka, maybe we shouldn't be dating at all. Not until I get better."

The redhead frowned. "What are you saying?! Though it's something that never truly leaves you, depression takes time to heal."

Hugging him tight, she added, "Don't say such stupid things, okay? I want to be by your side, Shinji. I need to be by your side."

Before he could reply, she softly kissed his lips, gently holding onto his face.

"Mmm..." Their faces merely inches away from each other, both were blushing a deep shade of red.

His eyelids grew heavy while blue stared longingly into blue. "We...we'll always, always be together, right?"

Kissing his forehead, Asuka softly nodded. "Yeah. Forever...Shinji."

Shinji could do this. He was going to do this. He would not run away. Resolved, Shinji took in a deep breath, and kissed Asuka, their tongues tangling, exploring each other’s mouths. The soft fabric that was their clothes hit the floor, the couple barely noticed.

***

Kissing again while they embraced in the nude, Asuka gently broke away after noticing their heavy breathing. Giving the boy of her dreams a kiss on the nose, Asuka winked at him. “I’ll be right back, Shinji. I need to get something from the bathroom.”

Nodding, Shinji wondered if Asuka could hear the loud pounding of his heart. Asuka returned, placing the item—a few condoms—on the drawer next to her bed. With a grin, Asuka sat next to him again, kissing his cheek this time. “Okay, I’m ready.” Shinji nodded again in reply.

Scratching his cheek, feeling nervous, the former pilot’s gaze met Asuka’s then the floor. “Um, Asuka? I don’t want anything to happen to you, and...You shouldn’t be the one responsible with remembering protection. I'll take responsibility with that from now on, okay? I want to take care of you..."

Flattered that he cared about her so much, Asuka affectionately nuzzled her cheek against his. "We both need to be responsible about this! It’s better to be safe than sorry, right?" Shinji giggled while Asuka lovingly snuggled into his arms. “Of course.”

Asuka’s long red hair fell onto her chest. She smiled fondly as her arms were crossed, her chest mere inches away from his face... In a playful tone, the redhead asked, "Shinji, do you want me?"

His face red, Shinji found himself thinking back at those words...Remembering Rei's, no his mother’s, voice, "What do you wish for?" as that vision of Asuka's chest appeared just before he turned into LCL...

His response was serious. "I... I want you and only, Asuka. That's my greatest desire."

Pleased with his response, Asuka kissed his nose. “I feel the same. Shinji, you’re the only one I want.” With those words, Shinji and Asuka kissed sweetly on the lips, sinking into her bed together.

***

As the couple lay on the uncovered soft bed, Shinji's head resting on her pillow while Asuka lay near his chest. Her hand gently reached out for his length, going past his soft brown pubic hair, lightly stroking his erection. "Hmm...I didn't realize how big you are." He nervously stammered out, fidgeting, "Uh, I'm well...yeah. But, why do you want to know?"

She smiled evilly, a seductive look was in her eyes. "Anta baka? So I can know what to expect when I take you in my mouth." His blue eyes widened from surprise at that. "Eh?! But, you don't have to...It's alright if you don't..." Asuka grinned, enjoying teasing him. "But you want it, right, Shinji?"

He blushed, uncomfortable, eyes averting hers for a moment. "Yeah...I do." She smiled at that, face happily flushed. "Then, its okay. I don’t mind at all."

The redhead sweetly ordered Shinji to lay down, and he hesitantly complied. As she softly kissed his length, the girl giggled out, "Ehehehe...Shinji, you're already so hard. Well, here I go."

Before Shinji could even reply, the redhead began to take him in her mouth. Her head bobbed up and down; her lips folded over her teeth so she wouldn't accidentally bite him. It felt...strange doing this to his warm penis, but at the same time, it was nice. It was nice and she liked it because of the very fact it was Shinji’s. Knowing that she could do something to make him feel happy made her feel happy, too.

"Mmh....Shinji...It must feel great to have your penis sucked for the first time, right?" Breathing heavily, Shinji’s face was beet-red. He desperately clutched onto her head for some support, body shaking a little with excitement. "A...Asukaaa...You, you don't have to suck so hard; it’s embarrassing! If you keep at it like that, I'm already gonna come!"

She sucked harder at her boy’s words, wanting him to come into her waiting mouth. Occasionally licking and sucking his sac, she soon went back to his penis. "Mmh...Shinji, you taste good...I'm happy."

As she smiled at him, his blush deepened, although he managed an honest, warm, smile back. "...Asuka. I'm happy, too."

Closing her eyes, her tongue sticking out, Asuka gently licked his length, trying to catch his precome. Her tongue swirled around the tip of his head before she took him all the way in again. She picked up the pace with her sucking, her mouth frantically moving in and out...

His eyes widened at that as he groaned, "Ooh, Asu...ka..." As she sucked faster and faster, Shinji couldn't take it anymore. Shinji nearly screamed her name as he came, "ASUKA!"

Asuka gagged a little, surprised that she didn't receive any warning he was going to come. She began coughing slightly, but had managed to swallow what she could.

Shinji was breathing heavily, overwhelmed at how good it felt. It felt much better than masturbation. "Ha....ha...ha..." He closed his eyes for a moment, savoring how relaxed his whole body felt. That was...amazing. I never felt anything so good before. Asuka...

Suddenly aware of what happened, Shinji opened his eyes and looked at her. "Asuka! I'm so sorry! Really, I'm sorry! I didn't mean for you to swallow it if didn't want to! Are you okay?!"

Staring at his penis momentarily, Asuka transpired what had just happened. Smiling warmly, her sparkling blue eyes met his. "I'm okay, Shinji. I'm glad I got to swallow some of you because now I know that I like it. You taste so good...because it's you. The only thing that took me by surprise was how suddenly you came."

"Um, Asuka, I'm really sor—" The girl abruptly shushed him by kissing his lips, knowing it wasn’t his fault. They were both first-timers at actual sex, so why wouldn’t their lack of experience be understandable? As Asuka sat upright, his heart was pounding fast. Shinji was both stunned and nervous by how good that felt.

Hugging Asuka—she kissed his cheek—Shinji stroked her hair, nervously muttering to himself, "I mustn’t run away, I mustn’t run away, I mustn’t run away..." Puzzled and a little annoyed, the girl looked up at him. "Shinji! Why are you saying that all of a sudden?!"

Shinji blushed, embarrassed about being caught talking to himself. "No—no reason..." Asuka rolled her eyes, jumping him so she lay on top of him. "Idiot. But you’re my idiot." Their faces were merely inches apart, both blushed at how intimate they were being.

Shaking a little as his blue eyes met her own, he gulped. "A—Asuka...? Um, is it okay if I lick you down there? I want you..."

Her cheeks turned red, she nodded, biting her lip. "Please, Shinji...I made you feel good, so I’d want you to return the favor at least once to see if you like it."

He smiled in response. "Of course."

***

Her long, athletic, legs were spread out. Shinji gently began sweetly kissing the inside of her thighs. She giggled happily, cheeks slightly red. "Shinji! You're tickling me!"

He smiled at her, sighing. "You're so cute when you laugh, Asuka." She smiled back, but didn't say anything. Looking back at her vulva, he kissed her there; his lips softly meeting her folds. His hands came to rest around either side of her legs, stray wisps of her red pubic hair brushing against his skin. Gently sticking out his tongue, he began licking her entrance, kissing it once in a while.

Asuka groaned in between occasional fits of giggles. "Oh, oh, Shinji...Right there. Keep on licking me..." She didn’t understand why she felt ticklish while Shinji kissed and licked her folds, but the girl was pleased that he didn’t mind doing this. Besides, she was happy that her boyfriend—now lover—was being so gentle and sweet towards her.

"Asuka...You taste so good, so sweet..." His tongue traveling up towards her clitoris; he gently, slowly, began sucking on it with his mouth. Asuka's blue eyes shot wide at that, taken completely by surprise. "AH! Sh—Shinji! Keep...Keep doing that! So so good! Mmh!"

Shinji began sucking on her clitoris faster while his tongue lapped up at her juices. The boy was somewhat taken aback at how wet she already was, but at the same time, it made him happy that Asuka—his Asuka—enjoyed this so much.

Asuka’s feelings of being ticklish gradually subsided, the German girl cried out as he continued sucking and licking at her sensitive area. "Ahh...it feels so good! Shinji! Right there!" Shinji gave the girl a few open-mouthed kisses, his tongue stroking her clit.

He obediently lapped the redhead up, moaning softly, noticing that she was already so wet from excitement... "Oh, Shinji... Ah...Shin..ji...! Make me come! Uh! You can fuck me whenever you want it, just make me come! Please! Ooh, baka Shinji, please...!"

His tongue picking up the pace, increasing in momentum, Asuka was covered head to toe in a full body blush. She was beginning to reach orgasm as she clenched her muscles tightly together. "Oh, Shinji! Shinji!! Yes, that's it! Ah! Shinji Shinji Shinji SHINJI!" As Shinji gave Asuka’s sensitive area one last tender kiss, Asuka's entire body shuddered as she came into his mouth. "SHIN...JII!"

Shinji licked up her come, not missing a drop since he enjoyed her sweet taste. After he was finished, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, sitting upright. Through heavily-lidded, wet eyes, Asuka lovingly stared at him, her breathing heavy. Smiling warmly while stroking her red pubic hair, Shinji gently said, "Asuka's come tastes good, too."

He kissed her forehead, wrapping his wiry arms around her shoulders. Asuka’s head gently leaned against his. Sighing, her breathing under control, the girl’s cheeks were a light pink. "Baka...I feel so warm and safe when you hold me like this."

Shinji blushed, smiling. "Really? It makes me happy I can make you feel safe." She hugged him tightly in response. "Have more confidence in yourself, Baka-Shinji. You have lots to live for." "Yeah.", he smiled warmly, heart light.

***

After several minutes of them quietly hugging, Shinji suddenly said, "Asuka." "Hmm?" He was shaking again, getting a little scared. "Should we...go on?" She began shaking herself, offering a nervous smile. "Sure...I, I want you inside me. I want us to become one."

Slightly annoyed, she suddenly frowned, adding: "Are you all scared about us doing this, Baka?" "Huh? N—no..." "Then stop acting like it!"

Despite their words, both were shaking, clearly nervous... He put the condoms closer to the nightstand so they could get it for easy access soon.

"Le—Let's kiss. Asuka. That way, I won't feel so nervous." She giggled, clearly teasing him to lighten the mood. "Only I'm allowed to initiate our kissing. I don't want you to act like a pervert around me."

Shinji laughed a little himself. "Well, it's a bit late for that. We're both perverted now, so I guess we'll just have to take care of it, won't we?"

“Mmh...I guess we will. As long as you make sure to keep holding me...and, kissing me." He blinked, seriously asking, "You mean throughout us...?" She nodded. "Yeah. I love being able to share your warmth...I don't want it to stop."

His eyes light, he hugged Asuka tight. "Asuka...you know, I'm really glad I met you."

"I feel the same way, Shinji. I know I can be cold to you at times, but I really do love you."

Shinji lay atop Asuka as they french-kissed, alternating with regular kisses. "Mmh, Asuka...Ha..." "Uh...Ah...Ha...ha...Yes, Shinji, there..."

The tip of his condom-covered penis at her entrance, their blue eyes met. His voice shook, "A...Asuka...Um, should I...?"

Gulping, she nodded in reply. "Yes, it's alright. I want all of you inside of me. That way we can just get this part over with."

Shinji slowly entering her, the couple embraced, arms wrapped around the other's neck. As Asuka began bleeding, she silently cried; shakily, nervously, complaining, "Ow! OW! Ah, da.—damn it! Why does it have to hurt if we made sure we're both excited?!"

Shinji stopped entering her, too concerned to go on. "...Asuka. I can slow down or wait if you want."

Tearing up, Asuka whimpered. "I'm fine. Yeah it hurts, but I don't care. Shinji, I want...No, I need to be one with you..." Her voice cracked slightly, adding, "Please..."

Disliking the fact she looked so sad, Shinji's lips softly yet passionately met hers as he suddenly thrust his penis all the way inside of her, his tongue entering her mouth. Asuka sighed as she wrapped her arms around his upper back; he embraced her the same way.

The girl was pleasantly surprised he was being so romantic about everything, although that’s what he wanted, too. They sighed, content at their intimate connection. Mouths slowly breaking away from their passionate kissing, their foreheads gently touched, their cheeks flushed. "I feel so protected having you cover my body...Warming me up...Shinji." The brown-haired boy sat upright in response, slightly adjusting his position.

Asuka frowned, a little disturbed that he suddenly went quiet. "Shinji...?" Sitting upright herself, she couldn't read his expression.

Shinji’s voice was quiet. "I want...to consider your feelings." "Eh..." He suddenly held onto her tightly, his head leaning into her shoulder. "Neither of us are alone anymore because we have each other. Asuka. I love you." She blushed, being cut off, "Shin— "

Shinji blushed deeply. "I want to be with you, forever. From the bottom of my heart...", his voice cracked as he started to cry, "I really feel that way...!"

Eyes wide, Asuka started crying, too. "Shinji...!" She kissed the top of his head. "Shinji, I love you, too. It makes me so happy to hear that you care for me as much as I care for you...And, I'm just so relieved that we're not alone anymore!"

They stared into each other's tear-filled eyes at that, their cheeks flushed. Shinji and Asuka said in unison, "I need you."

Softly kissing, they moved together. He thrust inside of her as she begged him that they come together. "Please, please, Shinji...Let's feel good." Face flushed, he moaned in reply. "Oh, Asuka...Ahh..I want that, too..."

Kissing, they both teared up from the sheer pleasure of it all. "Oh, ju—just the rubbing feels soo good...But I want all of you...Shinji...!" Asuka tried to quiet her whimpers by planting soft kisses on the boy’s face as they embraced, hugging tightly. Their hips rose in synch as Shinji moaned to himself. "Asuka... Asukaaa... Amazing. You feel so tight and wet, I want us to keep doing this..." The boy smirked, picking the pace with his thrusts, grinding his body hard against hers.

Asuka’s eyes widened; the friction of his penis rubbing against inside of her and against her clitoris gave her much needed relief. Her damp moisture dripped onto the soft blankets before them as they continued thrusting. "Ha...Haaa! Yes, ri...right there!"

Face flushed, Shinji meekly said, "Asuka....I want to kiss you again..." She smiled, wrapping her arms around his neck, lips meeting his... "My sweet Shinji..." He was the one to initiate the kissing. "Your lips and your body are so nice and soft..." Shinji began to lightly suck and kiss her nipples, as well as kiss her breasts. Smirking a little, feeling naughty, his voice went low as he said, "You were right about Thermal Expansion, Asuka. Your breasts are bigger because they're warmed up."

They both laughed at that, softly kissing. Despite their silent crying, it was because they were happy at being together. Thus, there were no remarks of surprise from Shinji or annoyance from Asuka at their tears. Both were so happy at finding love with each other and having sex together...

"Shinji, Shinji, Shinji! Mmmh..." "Asuka." He spoke in between kissing her neck. "...Asuka, is it okay if I kiss you again?"

"Huh? Of course its okay! What, is your brain so passion-fogged you can't remember what I said a little while ago? Anyway, you don't have to as—" His lips softly, sweetly, pressed against hers, silencing the redhead.

"...Asuka...This is amazing, being with you like this..." He smiled at her, but suddenly noticed she was shaking again. "What's wrong? Are you cold?"

Asuka nodded as their eyes met. "Um...a little bit. I...I'm also scared. Shinji, he—help me." He wrapped his arms around her, their chests pressed together, warming each other up. "It's okay now, Asuka. You said so yourself there's nothing to be scared of, right? Let's come together.", he sweetly said, blue eyes light.

The redhead smiled, happy tears filling her eyes. Her hips grinding against his, she moaned. “Shinji’s penis feels so good!”

Shinji couldn’t help but mischievously grin at Asuka’s words. Hearing her admit that and actually say it aloud... It caused his whole body to feel hot. "So, Asuka likes me inside her..."

Blue eyes were close in passion as Asuka focused on thrusting with him. "Yes, I love how this feels...Just don't stop! Please, don't stop!" He giggled, "I wasn't planning on stopping...Asuka."

As they kissed hard, Shinji’s tongue tangling with her, Asuka let out a moan. “Shinji! Shin-chan, I love this! I..I love you!”

The boy couldn’t help but smile at her. "You're so cute, Asuka." She blushed at his compliment. Despite his heavy breathing, Shinji managed to ask, "Asuka...Are you happy we're doing this?"

"Of course. I’m so happy...Ahha!” Asuka suddenly let out a sharp gasp from surprise. Before she could even say anything, the redhead tightly clenched her thighs around Shinji’s member, wordlessly reaching orgasm. Shinji kissed Asuka’s face as he stroked her hair, trying to form words but his passion-fogged brain was past the point of return. He came a few seconds after the girl, letting out a muffled grunt as he moaned into her shoulder.

Breathing heavily, neither said nor did anything for a moment, too overwhelmed by what just happened to even move. Still feeling a little lightheaded but relaxed, they hugged, kissing on the lips. Finished, Shinji pulled out from her, throwing the condom into the wastebasket that was near her bed. Noticing something red at her entrance, Shinji's eyes watered. It was the blood from her hymen. Not even understanding the reason why, Shinji began to cry.

Asuka was taken aback by his sudden tears. "Shinji? Hey, what's wrong?" "I don't know...", he sniffled, suddenly feeling miserable, voice cracking. "I, I think I feel upset because I hurt you again!”

The redhead’s eyes watered as she gulped. "Shinji..." Wrapping her arms around him in a hug, Asuka gently replied. "Shinji, it's not your fault. It hurt, but I wanted this. You wanted me, too, right? So there's nothing for either of us to feel sad about..."

Despite her words, Asuka began to silently cry. Yet neither felt ashamed about their tears. They felt too much of a connection to care, and both now knew that crying wasn’t always a sign of weakness.

Kissing his cheek, the girl added, "Hey, would you like to take a bath with me tomorrow morning? It'll help since we both feel sore."

He nodded, managing a weak smile. "Yeah, I'd like that. I, I'm sorry about being so emotional tonight, Asuka. I’m just feeling really happy that we could find each other..."

Asuka crossed her arms and began scowling. Her face was flushed from embarrassment. "Jeez! Don't worry so much about it! I feel that way too, after all!"

***

The couple rested side by side, their hands lazily drooping over the other. With a sudden grin, Asuka gently and slowly sucked on his fingers, causing Shinji to shudder. With a wink, Asuka giggled. Her face was full of mischief and her blue eyes sparkled. It was as if she was a kid in candy store. “Hey, Shinji...let’s go at it again. The night is still young after all.”

Feeling happy, he couldn’t help but grin despite looking slightly embarrassed. “Yeah... I, I want you again. Being inside of you feels so good, I don’t want it to stop.”

With heavy-lidded eyes, Asuka licked his cheek in response. “Mmh... I’m so lucky being with you. I never knew you could be so sexy in bed.”

His sudden erection was so hard from her words it was nearly painful... "Asu—Asuka...”, he groaned.

Catching his meaning, Asuka put a new condom on him as she kissed his forehead. Sitting on top of him, Asuka moaned at the sudden feeling. His hard penis entered wet folds, making her nearly come already. Glad that they could share each other’s warmth, Asuka kissed his neck and upper chest, planting some soft kisses on his face for good measure.

The brown-haired boy sweetly kissed her face in reply, hugging her as they moved together. Her face red from happiness, she smiled, causing Shinji to shyly smile back.

Smirking, Asuka licked and bit his nipples as she rode him, moaning at his shaft enclosing her warmth. “It’s alright,”, she panted. “Don’t hold back for me. Come inside me.” She bit down on his nipples for added emphasis, causing Shinji to squeak in reply, face flushed. “A—Asuka!”
The redhead giggled, licking at his cheek. Her eyelids were low, face full of passion as she whispered, “You are so sexy when you’re inside me. I love the face you make when you come.”

“A...su...ka.”, he moaned in a low, husky, voice. Her words were his undoing. Shinji’s thrusts became more and more urgent as he bucked underneath Asuka, painfully pinching her nipples and breasts.

Asuka gasped from surprise, moaning loudly at the sudden feel of his warm fingers against her hardened nipples. Their lips met in a soft kiss on the lips that soon became a passionate french-kiss.

Shinji’s tongue tangled against Asuka’s as she bit down on his lower lip, her soft pilot hands holding onto either side of his cheek. Shinji in the meanwhile rested his hands against her shoulders as his twitching, aching, penis began to build up to something inside her...

Smiling warmly at each other, they paid attention to the other's breathing, not being able to stop their kisses. Finding a mutual area where they breathed in synch, similar to how they practiced in their unison training, they focused on just that. On their intimate connection, on the love and warmth the couple felt for each other, as they found themselves coming...

"Asuka!! I'm sorry, but I can’t hold back much longer!"

As Shinji’s come suddenly filled the protective sheath, Asuka let out a muffled cry into his mouth while their fervently french-kissing grew more and more pronounced. Shinji shuddered from the feelings as he kissed his lover, shivering from the sudden cool air of the room mixing in with the warmth of being all the way inside Asuka’s vagina. Embracing tightly as the waves of pleasure drew back into the tide; Shinji and Asuka were overwhelmed by the feeling of having orgasmed together.

Both were too stunned to form words at first as they comprehended what had just transpired between them. Breathing heavily, Asuka slowly pushed herself off of him, gently pulling the condom off his now flaccid penis and throwing it out. Returning to cuddle with him, she hugged him silently, smiling. He smiled back, warmly kissing her soft lips. Asuka’s cheek rested against Shinji’s as they wrapped their arms around each other, Shinji laying half on his back, half on his side. The two were bathed in the warmth of their love in that silent, peaceful, moment.

The redhead lovingly caressed his cheek, staring into his eyes. "Shinji. That was really, really, nice. I'm glad we waited until the time was right..."

He nodded, feeling somewhat shy about having sex, but pleased the girl enjoyed it so much...He did too. "Yeah. The timing couldn't have been more right. We're together, everyone's back, and life's returning to normal after Third Impact..."

Suddenly laughing, Asuka winked as she flirted. "Speaking of timing, it seems our timing with moving and coming together was good. Maybe doing that unison attack training all those months ago helped prepare us for this, huh?"

He blushed furiously at the passionate look in her eyes. "I don't k-know! Why are you talking about perverted things, Asuka?"

"Hehe... Because we're doing perverted things.” Sweetly kissing his lips while stifling her remaining giggles, Asuka whispered, “I love you, Shinji.”

“I love you too, Asuka.” Shinji smiled warmly at her sweet words and his reply. The boy gently said, “I really am happy I met you, Asuka.” She sleepily replied while pressing her cheek against his again, pressing their bodies tightly together. “I know that, Shinji. I feel the same way about you.”

Making light conversation until they started to doze off, Shinji mentioned that since they started literally sleeping together, he hadn’t noticed the redhead sleep-talking anymore.

"Hmm. Maybe it's because I feel better knowing mama—my real mama—the sane one who wanted me to be happy and live, was always with me.", Asuka said.

"I wonder what happened to our mothers, anyway. I mean, I know my mother's out in space, but what about your mother?"

"Anta baka?”, Soryu huffed. “I don't know! Although I'd say she’s probably watching us from Heaven."

Shinji was a little surprised at her words. "You believe in Heaven and God, Asuka?"

"Well, yes. I am Christian, you know. Especially after everything, I really believe in treating others as you want to be treated. What about you, Shinji?"

Shinji blushed in response, "Because you're with me, I, I know Heaven can be anywhere like Mother said. But with anything else else, I really don't know."

Her cheeks turned bright red at his words, silently hugging him tight. Giving a shy smile, Shinji held Asuka’s hand, softly kissing the back of it. She giggled out, "What, just my hand?"

He looked puzzled. "Huh?" With a smirk, the redhead softly kissed his lips, drawing the boy into a deeper embrace. "Good night, Shinji.” "Sweet dreams, Asuka."

Shinji's blue eyes grew light, nuzzling his cheek against hers.

Softly kissing each other, they instantly fell into a dreamless, yet peaceful, sleep.

***

Waking up the next morning, the couple kissed a little, all smiles. They felt really happy with being together the night before...

"See, Shinji? I told you the timing couldn't have been better! I feel...really at peace with things.", said Asuka, smiling.

He nodded, heart light. "I do, too. I honestly can't remember the last time I felt so happy and relaxed."
Asuka hugged him tight while planting some butterfly kisses on his chest. "I'm glad to hear that, baka." Her eyes closed peacefully as she let out a content sigh.
Reopening her blue orbs, Asuka stared directly at Shinji’s. Thinking back on the past wasn’t as painful as it used to be, yet the hurt was sometimes there.

"It's great we could find happiness together, after all... Before we dated, I was so afraid we couldn't become happy. I guess that's part of the reason I pushed you away. At least I finally realized I didn't want to be alone anymore..."

He tightly embraced her in reply. "I'm just glad that I finally let you in. And took a chance with life."
Kissing sweetly, they lay down on their pillow together. Yawning a little, Asuka cuddled up next to her lover. "I'm still tired...I'm going back to sleep. Ok, Shinji?"
Wrapping his arms tightly around the girl’s shoulders, Shinji buried his forehead into Asuka’s neck. "Yeah...I feel so comfortable holding you like this, I think I will, too. Sleep well, Asuka."
Unfortunately for the two Children, Misato suddenly burst into Asuka’s bedroom. Voice even, expression calm, arms crossed, Misato said, “I want you two in the kitchen. Right now.”

Staring at each other reluctantly, the couple nodded, got dressed and followed their guardian out of their room.

***

“Now tell me, what the hell were you two thinking?! If you’re gonna have sexathons at least wait until you’re in your 20s! I mean, how would Commander Ikari feel if he found out?”

Shinji nearly had a heart attack as his eyes nearly jumped out of their sockets. “You’d tell father about this?!”

The older woman giggled in reply. “Nah, I just wanted to see your reaction.”

Shinji face-faulted as Asuka scowled something under her breath. “Misato! Don't scare my baka like that! Jeez!”

Misato grinned. “Aww, how sweet! You guys are all love-love now!”

Shinji made a face, shaking his head. “Misato-san, can't you ever be serious?”

“Sure I can!”, she added, sticking out her tongue, “I just don't want to.”

Asuka decided to speak up since the idiot wasn't getting anywhere. “Just get to the point! Are you okay with us doing this, or not?!”

A moment of contemplative silence had passed while Misato considered...

She nodded, smiling gently. “Of course. I think both of you are responsible enough to know how to deal with sex. Just... be careful, okay?” Heading towards the kitchen to get herself some UCC-canned coffee, Misato added with a wink, “I don't think any surrogate grand-children at your age would be a good thing.”

Embarrassed, the former pilots stood, Shinji heading to the stove to cook some breakfast, Asuka to the bathroom.

“Very funny, Misato.”, Asuka muttered in her breath. Noticing Shinji's back was turned to both women, the redhead grinned mischievously. She threw her arms around the unsuspecting Misato, pulling the older woman into a tight hug.

“Thank you.”, Asuka whispered. Misato blinked from surprise, but smiled gently as she hugged Asuka back.
***
"Lilith...Have your memories returned? Of our past life on our home world?"

Deep within the LCL Sea, Rei's gaze fell down at Kaworu's words, lost in thought. After a moment, her red eyes met Kaworu's.

Actually smiling, the blue-haired girl replied: "Only that we were the best of friends and that nothing could separate us."

Smiling warmly back, Adam chuckled. "Well, at least you remember something as important as our relationship." Her tone going serious, the First Angel added, "Do you have any regrets? Of us losing our physical form?"

Rei instantly shook her head. "No, I don't. I'm glad I was able to stay as my current self, despite my fear. However, I have you to thank for helping me remember who I truly am. As long as I can still live on spirituality...I can at least watch over humanity."

Kaworu gave a sad smile. "My only regret is how our children couldn't co-exist peacefully, since we're all fundamentally the same...At least Lilin have a chance to make things right this time."

Rei looked upset at her friend's words, but said nothing. She didn't know what to say. I apologize for your children's deaths, they were necessary to save my own... No, she couldn't say that! It would be too heartless. If an Angel could have a heart.

"Rei."

Blinking, the girl snapped out of her thoughts. Ever since she gained her third body, and finally returned to Lilith, she felt more emotionally aware. "Yes?"

"You know my feelings, so...How do you personally feel about Shinji-kun?"

"I'm...happy that I could help Ikari-kun realize what it is he really wants. My...love...for him", Rei paused, unaccustomed to the word, "is what made me want to help him. Not just as Lilith because he's like my surrogate son, but also...I suppose... because of Yui-san's influence within me. Apparently, he was kind towards my second self, so...I had to repay him somehow. For his sake and the rest of humanity's."

Kaworu smiled. "I see."

"And, although I knew it wasn't right for him, there is something I personally agree with that Ikari-kun said."

"What's that?"

"...Wanting to die. I, I still want to return to nothing."

A chill ran through Kaworu's spine as she looked disturbed. "Shinji-kun was depressed and bitter when saying all that. You know he didn't mean it, so why...?"

"Nothing about me is truly me, Kaworu. With the body of Yui and soul of Lilith, I was fake. An object living a lie."

Kaworu shook her head. "That doesn't mean you can't find yourself! I wasn't excluding anyone when I said all of you need the future!" Rei fell silent, considering Kaworu's words.

Adam continued, "Yui and Lilith were kind people. I am certain both of them would have wanted you to be happy as yourself. And have your own chance at living on. Rei..."

Rei looked as if she was about to cry but said nothing in reply, quietly lost in thought. In the silence of the LCL Sea, the two progenitors of life were left to their own thoughts.

***
Shinji's 15th birthday came around, his roommates had decided to throw a party for him. It was great fun, especially considering his friends and former Nerv coworkers had stopped by, but soon enough night had fallen...

***
Pulling both their shirts off, Asuka threw their clothes onto his bedroom floor, only their underwear remaining. She softly french-kissed Shinji, pushing him onto the bed while sitting on top of him.

Breaking away, smiling lovingly. "Baka Shinji, why are you so nervous now? We already made love once before, right?" "Yeah, I know, but... That's the reason why. It made me really happy that I could be with you, Asuka, but... I just don't know what to expect."

Looking into her eyes, he suddenly looked upset and sad. "And..."

Her eyes widened, realizing what was upsetting him. "...Shinji."

/"Enough already! It drives me crazy when I look at you!" "Because I'm like you?"/

/"In all honesty, you're actually happy to show this to Shinji-kun."/

/"Disgusting! You're just foul! That's what you call a mature relationship?! You make me puke!"/

/"I think I do this kind of stuff to find my own existence."/

/"That's ridiculous! It's just lonely adults comforting each other!"/

/"Will I do what Misato does when I grow up?"/

/"Stupid! I know you've been using me as a side dish! Why don't you do it now, like always? I'll be watching you. If all of you can't become mine, I don't want anything." /"Then be kind to me..."/

As they stared at each other, her on top of him as the memories of Instrumentality flooded back, Shinji gulped, uneasy. Weren't they hypocrites for doing things like this? Wasn't it just a form of running away from problems, after all? Didn't it mean they only needed each other on a purely physically level? Was any of their loving each other even true?

"Um...Asuka...I..." She hugged him reassuringly, gently closing her eyes. "...It's okay." "Huh?"

Her patience was wearing thin. "I said, everything's okay now!" She looked back up at him, her eyes serious. "Right?"

"Uh...Well....I..." He sighed loudly, sitting upright, head against a hand. "I...I don't even know."

Asuka replied, a hint of sadness in her voice: “Don't you want me, Shinji?”

He stared at her in surprise to see she was blushing now; embarrassed. "Come on, Shinji. I only want you, just like you only want me. And...I, I wouldn't do this sort of thing unless I wanted to be with you sexually."

"But does that make it right? I mean, even you thought what Misato-san and Kaji-san did based on what we saw in Instrumentality was disgusting..."

"Because they were running away, that's why! But people are always going to have some kind of escape! What matters is the extent of it and reasoning behind it!"

"......." Shinji's silence was his way of saying, Aren't I just using you as an escape, after all?

She suddenly put her arms around his shoulders, drawing him into an embrace against her breasts. It was her way of replying: No, that's not it. It's because we love each other. Believe me, I wouldn't LET you use me as an escape.

Clearly understanding what the other was saying through their actions, Asuka smiled. "Shinji. I love you."

The boy promptly blushed, eyes wide. For her to say her feelings in such a loving manner...It couldn't be just a physical need! Smiling for what seemed like the first time that night, he gently leaned against her soft breasts. "I love you, Asuka..."

A peaceful moment passed as they just lay on the soft bed together.

Looking into each other's eyes, they smiled warmly, lips meeting in a sweet kiss as they hugged. Getting fully undressed, they kissed again, this time french-kissing. Asuka lay atop her boyfriend again, this time tenderly caressing his cheek. Sighing happily, the warmth from their groins warmed up the rest of their bodies.

"Hey. Let's just take our time with things tonight? Especially if we're both a little nervous, there's no need to rush or work ourselves up."

“Sure Asuka. That's fine.” He kissed her softly.

***

Soon enough....

"Oh...Oh....Ah...Shinji...Shinji...Shinji...! Don't...stop...Ahh..."

She groaned as he entered her from behind, thrusting hard. "AH! Wh...what are you doing?"

"What am I doing...?", he repeated; feigning innocence.

Asuka made a face, not amused. "Shinjiii, stop! Don't do that so rough!"

He smirked a little. "Don't do what?"

She blinked out of confusion, not understanding what he was trying to do. "What..." Before she could ask anything, he kissed her, hard. He groped her breasts and she groaned loudly into his mouth.

Breaking away as she breathed heavily, "You're not acting like yourself. What's wrong?"

"I just...really want you, that's all. But if you don't like it, I'll stop acting this way."

She blushed deeply, replying, "It's alright. I feel good, so I don't mind. Just, give me some kind of warning next time!"

"Alright." He smiled softly, his hands brushing across her nipples, continuing with his steady yet gentle thrusts against her back.

***

Enough people had returned for schools to be rebuilt and for the education system to be brought back, much to the dismay of most students.

"Shinji", Asuka said while packing up her schoolbag one afternoon, "My cooking club is canceled this week, so let's go home together." “Sure."

As he walked up to her desk, Asuka added, "You should join too, you know."

"Nah, that's okay. The writing club I'm in keeps me busy. It's nice since it's something different."

"That's good you enjoy it so much."

Nodding, he scratched the back of his head. "Yeah. It's, um, pretty fun."

As Shinji took a hold of their schoolbags, Asuka happily replied, "Come on, let's go." Before the couple could leave, however, Asuka's fanboys and Shinji's groupies crowded the two around Asuka's desk.

Shinji blinked at the sudden attention, puzzled. "Um..."

"So, you two really are dating?", a tall boy asked. "No fair, Ikari-kun's cute! I wanted him!", said a girl with blonde hair.

"I know! Those sad-looking blue eyes of his are just the greatest!" "That's why we have to cheer him up, right?", replied a friend of the girl’s.

"What's it like going out with her?" "How far did you go?" "If you guys break up, could I date her?"

Asuka made a face at that remark.

Letting out a sigh, Shinji calmly replied, "Listen, Asuka and I were just about to go home. So could you all just please—"

The respective groupies of theirs exclaimed, "EH?! You two ARE living together?!"

Shinji facepalmed while angrily muttering to himself, "Give me a break already."

Asuka promptly turned red from anger, not being able to take it anymore. "ENOUGH ALREADY! Stop bugging Shinji and me or else!" Clenching her fists, and making sure said fists were visible, she dangerously replied, "Got it?!"

Getting scared, the groupies slowly backed away, although they weren't defeated. Class Representative Hikari intervened, "I'll make all of you stay after and clean this whole area by yourselves if you don't stop!"

Getting their attention, the fans instantly left the classroom without so much as another word.

Kensuke simply grinned at the antics. "It's tough for you two being so popular, isn't it?"

Shinji gave an uncomfortable smile in reply. "Um, yeah, I guess so. Even though neither of us pilot Eva anymore..."

Touji scratched the back of his head while asking, "Why did they have to gang up on ya like that? That's what I wanna know!"

After Shinji found out his friends had returned, he was relieved to know Touji didn't blame Shinji for what happened. Touji had explained that it wasn't Shinji's fault, especially considering how he refused to fight when the 13th Angel had attacked the then unknown pilot's Evangelion. Since Touji imagined himself in his own heart upon returning as healthy, he was fortunate enough to have that happen. Of course, it didn't hurt that Lilith wanted her children to live happy lives.

"Besides, that sorta personal stuff is what ya should only tell close friends! Right, Shinji?"

"Eh?", the brown-haired boy asked, his thoughts suddenly interrupted at Touji's voice.

Touji and Kensuke smirked at each other. "We're asking ya just how far ya two went!", Touji said with a wicked grin.

Asuka's glare shot daggers at Shinji's idiotic friends. "Excuse me?! I'm standing right here, you know!"

Shinji looked somewhat miffed at, starting to feel as annoyed as Asuka was. "It's not your business, either! And is it really that big of a deal if I'm still a virgin or not?"

“No way! Kensuke, he's not denying it!" Kensuke promptly shuddered from disgust. "Ew! That's just sick to even imagine Shinji doing that with that devil-girlfriend of his."

"Guys, just stop already! Anyway, Touji, I could ask the same thing about you and Hokari-san!"

Although she was happy to be dating Touji, Hikari was mortified at thought of anybody accusing her of something so...so..... Clenching a fist, the Class Rep glared at her fellow classmate. "Ik-a-ri-kun! How could you say something so dirty?!"

Touji instantly turned red, clearly embarrassed he was still a virgin, muttering, "That's a low-blow, man. Anyway, there's nothing wrong with taking things slow."

"That's exactly what I'm trying to say!!", Shinji yelled, exasperated. Touji and Kensuke couldn't help but laugh at the sight of Shinji actually getting annoyed.

Groaning, the former Three Children slumped into a nearby chair, mumbling, "Oh, I give up!"

Standing in front of Shinji, Asuka began shouting, "I swear, if you stupid perverts don't knock it off, I'll show you how a devil REALLY acts! Now leave Shinji alone!" The two boys cringed in reply, "Yes Ma'am!"

Firmly taking Shinji's hand, she whined, "Shin-chan, let's go home already!" He nodded at her. "Yeah."

Slightly turning his head around, Shinji managed to wave a goodbye despite the weight of the two schoolbags. "Later, everyone!"

"Bye!", Touji, Kensuke, and Hikari chorused.

After the couple left the room, Kensuke bluntly said, "I don't know what's harder to believe, the fact those two are getting along now, or the fact they're going out."

Touji shrugged as he yawned. "Well, at least they seem happy together. I just never thought I'd see the day when Soryu would mellow out so much."

Hikari gave the pair a sad look, despite the annoyance in her voice. "Touji! Aida-kun! She IS my best friend, you know!"

Putting a finger to her chin, she added, in thought, "But you're right... Ikari-kun seems like he's been in much better spirits, too."

***

The sun brightly shone down as the couple walked along the sideway, admiring the construction of the slowly rebuilt Tokyo-3. They held hands on the way from school. Shinji stared at the pavement, ashamed that he couldn't defend his love. "Asuka, with what just happened, I'm sorry I..."

"It's alright, Baka. At least you stood up for yourself and did what you could. Thank you." The German girl gave her boyfriend a quick kiss on the cheek, causing him to smile.

Asuka suddenly let out a loud sigh. "Anyway, I can't believe that our month of Summer vacation is axed just for everybody to catch up Grade-wise in school! It's already July!"

"But it's not that big of a deal, right? I thought you liked learning."

"I hate how school systems are so focused on grades as opposed to what you learn! And I do like learning in school, but..." She suddenly stopped walking, realizing Shinji had stopped somewhat behind her.

Asuka turned slightly to look back at him, "Shinji? What's wrong? Hey! You went pale!" She ran up to him, making sure he was okay.

Shinji said nothing, Asuka had to wave her hand against his face to get his attention. She went as far as snapping her fingers near his face.

Shinji blinked, finally coming to, as if he had awoken from a sudden trance. “Oh! So-sorry, Asuka.”

Her eyes narrowed, arms crossed, features locked in a worried frown. “What's wrong, idiot?”

A bitter smile formed his lips, eyes wet. “I... I thought I saw Ayanami just now, but... It was probably just my imagination. It's stupid of me to think she could return...”

She couldn't find the words to comfort him. Just what was there to say? But... she could at least...

Asuka's hand wrapped around Shinji's, giving him a gentle squeeze. He silently squeezed her hand in thanks for her support.

Kaworu and Rei not being able to return was painful, but at least the rest of their love ones were returning.

***

It was December 4th, Asuka's 15th birthday. After going out to dinner with Kaji, Misato and Hikari, Asuka had been asked to sit in the living room at Shinji's insistence.

Her eyes closed as she patiently waited, the redhead knew all too well her boyfriend was up to something, although she couldn't help but wonder just what.

“Okay, Asuka.”, Shinji's voice gently began. “You can open your eyes now.”

She blinked. And blinked again. Caught off guard, tears began to gather in her eyes.

A simple, matching golden ring was on Asuka's left ring finger; Shinji wearing a similar one on his. The promise rings were engraved with Myn Genyst, German for “my heart”.

“You idiot!” Throwing her arms around him, Asuka embraced Shinji tightly, overcome with emotion as she began to sob against his shoulder.

Steading himself on the carpeted living room floor, Shinji himself cried through his words, “I love you. And... this is my commitment to you, that for as long as I live, you're the only one for me. I want to be with you forever, Asuka. You're the light of my life, my beloved.”

Happy tears continued to run down her cheeks as Asuka replied, “I feel the same way Shinji... We won't set ourselves up for failure, we're in this together. For as long as I live, you'll be the only one for me. I want us to get married one day. We don't have to have children but...”

Her voice cracked, “I want us to have a future together...” She sniffled against his shoulder, nuzzling her face into his neck. “I love you so much...”

The couple kissed as they continued to embrace against the warmth of the living room and the warmth of each other's hearts.

No matter what happened in their past, and regardless where their future was headed, Shinji and Asuka found the strength within their hearts to continue living, and they were together. And that was all mattered.

The End.

Notes and thanks: Well, I hope you enjoyed this as much as I suffered writing it. Suffering in the sense meaning I had several ideas that I either had to scrap altogether or combine, but I'm still very pleased with the end result. Would it amuse you to know that while writing the scene of Rei saying she had to lead people back, I had a mental image of her as a Bouncer? I hope you liked how I intertwined Asuka's POV on returning in this fic with Shinji's POV on her returning in the 1st story. ^_^

Finally, time to thank Evageeks forum members for their support: BobBQ “Smith” and Dartz were a major help with proofreading. I’d also like to give a major thanks to fanfic writer and all around nice guy Eric Blair for his help and emotional support (as well as proofreading help too). Last but not least, a thank you to Reichu for her crazy but fun Fem-Kaworu theory.

Although this fic was something of a struggle to write in regards to depression and motivation, especially with finishing it, I am quite pleased with how it turned out and hope you enjoyed reading it too.

~Sailor Star Dust